Frequent Fryer, T.
Yelp
This review only concerns the Ford Terrace Café, not the venue, performances, staff, or service.
The John Anson Ford Amphitheatres are one of the best-kept public secrets LA county has to offer! Since their establishment in 1920 as a humble venue to house The Pilgrimage Play by Christine Wetherill Stevenson (of which the current turret-like proscenium architecture pays homage to), The Ford has been uniting Los Angeles' various communities just as much as the interconnected highways have.
As part of The Ford's recent major renovation plan, which includes a streetside visitor center and state-of-the-art parking structure built into the historic hills, a luxurious dining plaza has opened up adjacent to the theater and above the loading bay: The Zev Yaroslavsky Terrace. From The Zev, patrons have a gorgeous view (above the traffic) of the mountains that surround the theater, and on certain nights they may enjoy a pre-show thanks to distant sound-checks from the Hollywood Bowl. Most exciting (for The Frequent Fryer, at least) is the opening of a food and beverage counter known as The Ford Terrace Café, with food being provided by Crumble Catering. The Zev is usually open for early arrivals, and its close enough to the theater that you will hear the show begin as you chug down your Chardonnay and easily find your seat before too much of the performance passes. The Zev is closed sometimes for private events, but generally every performance is planed with extremely interesting pre-show entertainment (such as the live-jazz/improvised skateboarding event I witnessed on my visit, thanks to Jason Moran and OC Ramps).
But none of that matters. Let's get to the fries!
The Ford Terrace Café menu is as varied and eclectic as the acts that grace the stage, so Crumble Catering seems to have researched their clientele when planning it. The same cannot be said of the presentation, however. It does not matter how much you paid for tickets for a world-renowned string quartet; when you awkwardly carry a too-full glass of beer and paper plate of street tacos down a steep ramp to your plastic chair, you may feel like you're at a baseball stadium and not a fine arts concert.
You'll find three types of fries at The Zev: regular, garlic, and sweet potato, and all of them cost $8. I know, I know, just remember, you're NOT at a baseball stadium. Just be careful when walking away with your meal, because the bowls of fries are packed so high that each dropped fry must cost a nickel or too, with all things considered. When you've made it to a safe space, then you can go back to the counter for napkins and condiments, since there are no carrying cases to make things easier. While you're there, make sure to ask for the Ginger Ketchup that's served along with the Captain Crunch Onion Rings. If its in stock, it's definitely worth a try!
The regular fries are, by no one's surprise, regular; see plain, average, normal, etc. They're served up warm, but because of the open-air nature of the venue, all the fries are susceptible to instant cooling in chilly weather. These spuds are cut thick and semi-wide, landing somewhere between restaurant and steak cut. Like steak fries, there's a lot of substance to chew on, but that potato flesh doesn't do anything but crumble apart. There's no crunch, no springiness, and no salt added on. There's not much flavor, but I've definitely found worse fries than these. With this batch though, make sure you go grab your favorite condiments and seasonings, because you will need them.
The garlic fries exemplify a solid solution to the previous potato problem. These are the same as the regular fries in concept, except there are scattered wet clumps of garlic and herbs found in every handful or two. While the garlic is sparse, it's quite flavorful on top of the unassuming fries. The garlic preparation is tangy and tossed with salt, and actually makes for a decent bowl, but extra seasonings and sauces would probably help it still.
Finally, there are the sweet potato spuds. The cuts are long, longer than the regular fries, and the batch is only lightly fried to achieve a light orange coloring on the surface and dark brown on the crispy corners. These edges provide the crunch that the other fries have been lacking, yet the centers remain soft and chewy. These may be the best-suited fries for the artsiest audiences, because these fries are exactly like La Croix: looking at it, it has a different appearance, but it still tastes like water that had an idea. The "sweetness" of the sweet potatoes makes for a completely neutral flavoring that's impossible to detect, and the taste lasts as long cotton candy does, which is to say, mere seconds. I don't think this is Crumble's fault, but just an unlucky batch of terrible taters.
Final rating for regular fries: 2/5 Spuds.
Final rating for garlic fries: 2.5/5 Spuds.
Final rating for sweet potato fries: 1.5/5 Spuds.
