Colin C.
Yelp
Would've been a high star review, love the thursday wings and marg nights, food isn't anything crazy, but it's a good cheap deal. Staff is usually nice, but picture this, you and the lads/gals just got back to campus on Boston, you've missed the crew, and you wanna go to your usual place. You pull up. Your waiter is a phenomenal guy (shoutout Alec) super nice, the margs were the same as ever, and then you see your wings coming. Instead of the super nice and respectful waiter you had earlier, you see a banshee crawl out of the 9th circle of hell and claw her way over to you, looking like an unmade bed, and like she hasn't smiled since the atom bomb was dropped. This knuckle dragging geriatric, later identified as "Tess," hobbles over holding a tray full of wings, and places them on the table asking who ordered which wings. As she named the name of each wing that she brought over to us, we stared blankly, as none of us ordered any of the wings she just named. This was our fatal mistake. See, staring in silence as Tess tells you the names of wings that you did not order unleashes the beast. Like a wolf during a full moon, her inner rage mode was activated as she snarls at us, "who ordered these wings? It says right here on the ticket that this table ordered these wings!" Giving us disrespectful stares and a condescending tone. We swiftly correct her, informing her of what we ~actually~ ordered, and she stared back at us as if we were a gaggling bunch of hillbilly idiots. She snarkily replied that the order that we just said, which was entirely different from what SHE just said, was in fact, what she just said. The absolute disrespect she treated us with was utterly humiliating and left a poor taste in all of our mouths. Looking to avoid confrontation, however, we accepted her lies as we accepted the plates of wings. Tess gracelessly plopped them in front of us, mumbling about our incompetence. She then continued, heralding the crowd as if she was the sole braincell amongst a crowd of homunculi, asking "who ordered the 3 teriyaki wings?" The problem? No one at the table ordered 3 teriyaki wings. One of us, however, DID order 9 teriyaki wings, and corrected her by saying that he "ordered 9 teriyaki wings." This recent escapee of the retirement home, who obviously left her reading glasses and schizophrenia medication at home, snapped back at him "I said 9! That's what I said!" Ladies, gentlemen, and third party genders, I'm sure I don't have to remind you that she, in fact, did not say 9, but instead said 3. All the same, my friend who ordered the teriyaki wings MUST'VE deserved the lambasting of a lifetime, because that's exactly what he received from this gray-haired troglodyte thusly named "Tess." We survived this absolute ordeal served to us by Tess, and to say the least, the vibe at the table was absolutely tarnished. We were all either embarrassed, fuming, or frankly too upset with the encounter to continue our nice, friendly, conversation. We made the fatal mistake of ordering a second round of margs, as the she-demon Tess returned with a tray of margs, plopping them down on the table, spilling quite a few splashes of the precious few ounces of margarita in the minuscule paper cups, and then instructed us to "grab whichever drink, as we obviously can't figure out what we ordered," completely unprompted, as we didn't even have a chance to say a word to her in this second godless encounter. God obviously must be on vacation for allowing such a woman like Tess to continue interacting with the general populous. Once our regular waiter returned, I asked him about the walking corpse who delivered our wings and second round of drinks, a question i soon regretted as I witnessed the zest for life leave his precious eyes. That alone was enough to tell me how this Tess woman treats her staff. My table of trusted cohorts and I soon agreed that we would not be returning to Thortons anytime soon, as we felt absolutely disgraced to be treated this way as guests who felt as they did nothing wrong. Why would we claim wings that we didn't order? Obviously that must be a crime at Thorton's Fenway grill, as we all feel our souls still being judged and weighed by Tess for the sin of not claiming food we did not order. Surely we deserved this mistreatment, as we are just lowly vermin in a city ran by the iron fist of Tess. The only logical explanation is that Tess recieved some form of "reverse Christmas-Carol" in which she was visited by three ghosts who convinced her to be the absolute worst person imaginable. 2 stars cus I kinda do be liking those blue margs tho.