Javier M.
Yelp
==
**TOP SECRET**
EYES ONLY
Central Intelligence Agency
25 October, 1975
MEMORANDUM FOR: DCI, Directorate of Plans
FROM: Secret C.
Information Review Officer, DDI
SUBJECT: YR-00200, Richard Nixon
Re: Presidential Tapes, 18 1/2 minute gap.
Per the department's inquiry of Sept 20th, we have located a copy of item No, 006-N23 recorded on the Oval Office on June 20, 1973; item which conveys the contents of the 18 1/2 minute gap, in which President Richard M. Nixon admits and confesses foreknowledge of the Watergate break-in by former CIA operatives [sic] The contents are of a very disturbing and distressing nature, revealing in full force the truth behind the break-in. Enclosed is a transcript of said contents for your eyes only. It is the department's opinion that the enclosed evidence should be destroyed alongside this memo. To release such information to the American Public and the world at large, could prove detrimental to the image and prestige of the United States and the Presidency, not only in the eyes of our enemies but of our allies as well. Indeed, much is left to be wondered about this case, and we will continue to report on further evidence or secret documents as they become available.
Transcript:
Haldeman: That the way to handle this now is for us to have Walters call Pat Gray and just say, "Stay the hell out of this...this is petty business here we don't want it to blow further out of proportion" That's not an unusual development,...
Nixon: Um huh.
Haldeman: ...and, uh, that would take care of the last crumbs.
(Laughs)
Nixon: What about Pat Gray, does he suspect?
Haldeman: Pat doesn't want to believe it; that former agents would [unintelligible] break in a pastry, and steal cake for the president? He called Mark Felt who told him...
Nixon: Yeah.
Haldeman: you were hungry..
Nixon: Yeah.
Haldeman: Ah, he told him, "You can smell those fresh buns and croissants from across the river; the almond marzipan doughnuts, the brownies, you can't really compete with that"
Nixon: You mean?
Haldeman: The White House pantry, they don't really stock too many baked goods. But the FBI agents working the case thought that we were using that as a bogue excuse, specially when they knew the CIA was involved.
Nixon: Have they traced the money to 'em?
Haldeman: Well they have.
Nixon: C[sic]ksuckers, this is it, this could ruin my political career Bob; the president using taxpayers money for CIA agents to break in a pastry and steal some chocolate goodies? The goddamn left will take over this country in a jiffy.
Haldeman: Yeah, I agree. I say we give Hunt and the Cubans more money to stay shut on this, or at least set the feds on a wild goose chase; that's why I mentioned the Democratic National Committee Headquarters since it is...
Nixon: Close to the Watergate. All right Fine.
Haldeman: But the only way to do that is by White House instructions. And Helms knows about your sugar fixes, the Cubans have been secretly debriefing him ever since the time they went in to get you those filled bonbons [pic evidence No. 0063]
Nixon: That was Kissinger's idea, not mine, fudge he's [expletive deleted] everytime I send the boys in to get me some sweets, everytime..
Haldeman: So should I not give the order?
Nixon: No-give the order. Fine. God help me if I'm going down in history as a goddamn glutton; I rather go as a spaz, a crook.
Haldeman: We will not let it get out of hand
Nixon: Call Hunt and explain to him the situation, and put a leash on those [expletive deleted] Cubans; they've been licking their fingers with the pastries too, I found a fingerprint on my cake once
Haldeman: Uhh, that was me chief
Nixon: [unintelligible]... and about Helms, don't worry, I can barter with him some other time; the important thing now is that this becomes the Watergate scandal instead of the Watergate Pastry scandal. One Checkers was one too many.
Haldeman: Four, if you count Mao, Elvis, and Yelp.
Nixon: That's right. Now be a sport Bob, and tell Manolo to bring me some pudding. And by the way, who the hell is Yelp?
**End of transcript**