"Perfect For: Your Uncle Who Hates Chicago And Doesn’t Live Here Your uncle, despite never living here, has a hatred of Chicago that makes you switch seats every Thanksgiving. Unfortunately his beloved team is playing the Cubs, and he decided to “deal with the traffic and whatnot” and force you into an obligatory dinner. You need someplace loud where you (and hopefully no one else) can hear what’s coming out of his mouth. So take that human megaphone to Joe’s Stone Crab in River North. You won’t be able to tell if he’s asking you to order another slice of key lime pie, or giving another anecdote about Chicago’s taxes. (Pretend it’s the pie.)" - adrian kane