Kay S.
Yelp
My experience at this place has compelled me to write my first review. It was that special. I know this place from my childhood as the very first Persian restaurant in the UK. So it has history. Or meant to. OK arrived there with the 2 girls and my wife. Sat down, waited anything between 5-10 minutes before anyone even came to us. This is after asking the bread chap, twice!! Talking bread maker man, his prep area was full of dirty plates from other tables. So he just picked them all up, put underneath and carried on with the next bread order, as one does. Oh yeah, back to the service. Young chap came, didn't speak Persian. No worries. But didn't know the dishes and asked me to order everything off the numbers in the menu. He was new. Evidently.
I mentioned that the kids were hungry so if he can bring the starters quick it will be great. After another 10 minutes, the bread arrived. Then had to ask for the starters to go with the bread. The new waiter then came to check the numbers. He was not sure if I ordered number 46 or 64. I joked about being dyslexic or such. and any ways, their menu only goes up to number 60!! The yoghurt portion was near microscopic. and the Sabzi came sans walnut. I mentioned it to the waiter and he siad, no it comes like this. I said but your menu says with walnuts. He went and came back with walnuts. The lobia polo was way off standard. My wife is Russian and hers is like 10 times better. my koobideh with bread was the worst I have ever tasted. I am sure the damn meat was off. It really tasted bad. Remember the ingredients of koobideh. lamb and onions! can't be the onions, or can it? By this time my 6 year old was getting super irate. As she did not like any of the special offerings. But she thought the toilet was pretty! Asked for the bill. I put my debit card on the tray and he said, we are the same company as 2 doors away,so you have to walk with your bill next door. Escorted me out to Asgar Agha standing outside who then took me inside his shop to his delightful wife to take my card. The Mrs was well moody, with her post revolution head scarf. I certainly wouldn't joke with her. All in all this experience makes mince meat (pun intended) out of Faulty Towers. Obviously owned, managed and run by a bunch of amateurs. The comedy was worth the 38 quid. For sure. Now I understand why that Gordon Ramsay gets so worked up. Shut the fucking place down and get on with your life and do something you may be good at, as you are rubbish in the restaurant business.
K. Savage