Big Joe's

This was honestly the highlight of our trip to Chicago. We came all the way from Florida and knew we had to come here when we heard about it. We ubered from downtown which was easy enough. We arrived pretty early--around 7:30 or so which was honestly a fantastic idea. We staked out a couple seats at the bar which was really nice once the place got packed. We were able to chat with Bob and Tracy and had so much fun. We ordered plenty of drinks to acquire tickets for the turtle race 🐢 and then my friend won a chance to race. Her turtle came in second but it was a blast. We stayed till about 11 and saw three turtle races. Highly recommend this Friday night activity to everyone!! Also, make sure you bring tons of cash--cash only!

Wonderful, quirky, local bar. I happened in for happy hour, since I was in the area. Watched some TV with the regulars and traded stories with the bartender. My kind of afternoon! Bring cash. They don't take cards, and maybe stop by for Friday night turtle races!

Neighborhood bar with big Friday fun - turtle racing. It is great fun plus an opportunity to drink...the more you drink the more tickets you get to have a chance to participate in the race. Prices are totally reasonable, the crowd is friendly and the music between races is whatever you pick on the juckbox.

Had an amazing time being a first time Turtle Jockey. This turtle racing bar brings all the hype. The host brought all the energy to get the bar ready for each of the 5 races during the night. Each drink gets you tickets which get put in a draw to be a turtle jockey for a race where you can win a prize or a free drink. It's way more fun than it sounds. Note that this place is cash only.

The turtle derby on Friday night is the absolute best. A great local bar where the drinks are reasonable and staff is excellent.

Cash only bar with turtle races. Arrive early or you'll be stuck waiting like me 30 minutes outside!

The turtle races make for a very interesting Friday night. They start around 930-10 and go for about 2 hours, breaks in between each race. Cash only bar, make sure to get on that touch tunes! Drinks are affordable, pitcher deals for $12-18 depending on beer. No food served here.

The turtles are adorable. Great place to spend a few hours.

Great place to go with friends but remember to bring cash!!! Went for the first time for the turtle races on Friday. Every time you buy a drink, you get tickets for the lottery. If you get picked, you bet on a turtle and if your turtle wins, you get a shirt! Everyone was pumped :)

Hey Yelpers! Came in here for the turtle races they have on Friday nights with some fam and friends. It was interesting. The bar itself is a neighborhood place, with a main area where the bar is located and a smaller area up some stairs with a few tables, a dart board, and the turtle racing area. It's a decent enough place. There was a smell that I couldn't ignore but that the others in my group couldn't seem to smell. I could only call it "sweaty garlic." It could have just been me, but it could also be the lack of ventilation. The bartenders did a great job keeping up with the patrons, and the drinks are not overpriced. They have a good mix of brands via bottles/cans and on-tap. They also mix a few specialty cocktails named after the racing turtles, or you can name your drink. The place is cash only, and they have an ATM on site. Save yourself the fees and stop by your bank. The guy running the races does a good job of getting the crowd hyped up during the races. Patrons earn tickets by buying drinks. 5 tickets are drawn before each race, with each person being assigned a turtle. You don't get to touch the turtles, it's just symbolic, so don't think you're walking outta here with a new pet! ;-) if your turtle wins the race, you get a shirt and move on to the finals. Last place gets a free drink. Woohoo! The races start about 10pm and go about every 15 minutes. There are 5 qualifiers and the final race. It was cool, but we didn't stay till the end. For me, it started to drag on longer than necessary. Overall, I enjoyed the experience. I think the races could have been held a little closer together. Also, I just couldn't get over the smell and had to step out a few times. Would I come back? Maybe. Should you go? Yes! Have a drink, get some tickets, and cheer on the racers!

Big Joe's is a total neighborhood bar. It's a place most people wouldn't know is here unless they are looking for it. Only catching a glance of it going somewhere else was how we found out. Has a list of basic drinks and cocktails. The most notable thing about this bar thing is that it has turtle racing, yeah, they race turtles. Animal abuse is never fun. It seems harmless, but we can't be sure of that because the turtles haven't told us about it. The bar gets packed on Friday nights with drunken frat boy types. Pretty annoying. Wonder if the turtles get annoyed too. As for the drinks, they're basic. It's about $7 a cocktail. A funny name for one is the Chuck. It's made with lemonade, sweet tea, and vodka. Fairly bland and made me want to Chuck it. They do have some cheap beer and other basic liquor. Call the ASPCA. Investigate them for amphibian abuse, make sure none are harmed. The bar besides this is basic, and the patrons make this even more unpleasant.

Came for the turtles, stayed for the family. My friend and I had Turtle Racing at Joe's on our list of things to do while we were visiting Chicago. After reading other reviews, we knew we should arrive early. We ended up being REALLY early, so we took some stools at the bar and settled in for the night. Dominic and his family took good care of us all night and introduced us all around. It was like being welcomed to the family. We felt like we were where we belonged. Yes, the turtles were fun. But spending a night in a great neighbor bar with new friends was even better. Next time we are in Chicago this is our first stop!

Three words: TURTLE. RACING. FRIDAYS. That's all you will need to know when coming to this bar located on the north side of Chicago. Big Joe's a cash-only dive bar located in the Andersonville neighborhood of Chicago. Beers are cheap, and entertainment is exciting. The place is a bit on the small side (or maybe the crowds too big) but that makes it all the cozier during those frigid winter months. What also makes this place worthwhile to me is the fact that it isn't too well known to be crowded with tourists while also being known enough to not be empty. Also, a great idea to take your out-of-town friend when they visit. A great (somewhat) hidden gem in Chicago. And don't worry, they do take good care of the turtles. I know, I asked as well. 5/5. PS. Best of luck if you end up with Yolanda as your turtle.

Turtle races you ask? Why yes! What an interesting concept for a dive bar. On Friday nights to keep you people entertained, 5 bodacious turtles race for your entertainment every 15 mins. Dont worry, no turtles are harmed in the process. I am a proud owner of a red eared slider myself so I kept an eye out for any signs. Anyways, the more drinks you buys, the more chances that you get to participate in the race via raffle ticket. If your ticket numbers get called you get assigned a turtle to cheer for! I had a great time with my friends here. Drinks were cheap too! The place was small but cozy. And the atmosphere was chill with everyone excited to cheer on the turtles of the night. If you haven't been here on a Friday night yet, come check them out!

An excellent neighborhood hangout. Very friendly people on both sides of the bar, cheap drinks, cash only. I've never had a problem getting as spot at the bar or the tables. There might be a wait for the dart boards, and I haven't seen the turtles, but a bartender told me post-lockdown that the race schedule is still in effect. If you're in Bowmanville check them out; if you're not in Bowmanville take a little detour to check them out.

A homey bar quite a ways away from downtown Chicago. PSA: TURTLE RACING ONLY ON FRIDAYS. Start at 10PM but come early to get a table and chat up the lovely bartenders. - More drinks = More tickets - Don't get too excited with the drink orders. We got shwasted and couldn't read our tickets by the 3rd race Met some lovely locals. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming.....as drunk people tend to be.

I came here when it was a slow day just a relaxing Sunday for quick drink with a friend. The bartender was super nice. Since it was a slow day, she unlock the pool table since we were the only patrons at the time. This is quite a chill bar if you don't go during their turtle racing night. Drafts were five bucks when I was there. Not too shabby of a place.

This place rocks. Cash only, steel tip darts, chill vibes. And everybody loves turtles

Fun dive that makes you feel like you're hanging out at your neighbors house. Can't beat the prices or the turtle races!

Typical dive bar with some basic bar games and all your staple drinks. It's surprisingly large on the inside with plenty of seating for groups. Service here is outstanding! The bartender who served us took the time to get to know us and made us feel like part of the family. Not a good place to come to watch sports though and parking can be tricky.

I mean other reviews pretty much sum this place up. It is a dive bar with turtle races. While this sounds like a bit of a dumb gimmick, it is actually quite fun and a way to have a unique evening without having to spend butt-loads of money. The beer selection is pretty standard, but they do have pitchers (even craft and imports) which is usually a pretty good deal. The more money you spend, the more tickets you get to participate in the race! The only downside is that this place is cash only. That is probably for the best anyway, but it get super busy and super crowded during Turtle Racing night. They have TVs showing the race, but I would have liked a few more around the bar. They also have a bit of a smaller bathroom which causes lines to build! Eh, it is what it is. If you want to go to a wacky dive bar and do something different on a Friday night, this is the best place to be! A hidden gem of the city and Lincoln Square.

TURTLE RACING!!!! I've been to this bar a number of times for turtle races held on fridays at 9pm. The drinks are relatively cheap and the races are really entertaining. However, even when I came last night, it takes 15+ minutes to get drinks at the bar every single time!!! My group and I eventually left after 20 minutes because we stood at the bar the whole time and none of us were able to order any drinks. It looked like there was only 1 bartender while we were there. How can I race turtles if I can't get tickets from my drinks?

Do Not put your money on the bar. The bartender with long hair blonde will steal it then make a scene counting a drawer you as a customer would never know about. Then she gets hysterical. No cameras or proof from my account to deter her con.

I LOVE a good dive bar to turn it up in, but this place was GOSS! We went on a Friday night where they had "Turtle Races". They place the turtles in the middle of a table, the lift a lid over them and you have to watch the turtles race to the edge of the table. Meanwhile, the entire bar ROARS and screams at them. AWFUL. Animal abuse at its worst. As far as turning it up. Fuck this noise. Took FOREVER to get a drink from some 21 year old bartender, and when we did get a drink, the pour was SO lite, I could barley taste a thing. My crew likes to taste their vodka so I took them to a gay bar for better dranks, service, and clean restroom.

Went to a turtle race a few weeks ago.. It was a bunch of fratty dudes and wasted girls screaming at the top of their lungs at these sad looking turtles scooting around on a dirty table. The concept of drunk people screaming at animals and placing bets on them really creeps me out. The whole experience put a bad taste in my mouth honestly.. Go for the relatively cheap drinks and sticky dive bar ambiance- leave before the races begin. #freeyolanda

They have white claw and turtles. Need I say more? Okay, apparently I do need to say more in order to publish this review. The turtle racing is a lot of fun on Friday nights. I have been quite a few times. Yolanda never wins. So best of luck if you are the lucky ticket holder to Yolanda.

Burr says its a fun good ole time of turtles that ironically can move quite fast, I give it a Burr high 5, more fun than a duel!

Big Joe's seems like it might be the type of small, unassuming dive bar that I'd typically seek out on any day other than turtle racing Friday. So what do I do? I go on turtle racing Friday. Now, I've witnessed this sort of reptilian trauma at other bars but I've never seen it done the way Big Joe's does it. Big Joe's has a whole process that involves tickets and contestants and prizes and multiple rounds...it is a very, very loooooong process. Tip #1: if you plan to endure the entire thing, wear comfy shoes. You'll be there for a while. There is seating, especially towards the back, with TV monitors hooked up so you don't have to actually move to see the race. Tip# 2: If those seats are free, grab them. Grab them for dear life and don't let them go. During the breaks between races, they play an eclectic assortment of music, covering darn near every genre. But that's neither here nor there; even if there was room to dance, no one was dancing. There was a solo bartender when I was there. Tip #3: when there's a solo bartender, tip well. The crowd is a lot to deal with. As for the crowd, I bet this place has its share of loyal regulars on any other night. On turtle racing night, a lot of dudebros and girls who love dudebros. And that one outlier who is neither dudebro nor dudebro lover, but got invited by a friend of a friend. Every group has one and you can't miss them - he or she will be scrolling their phone intently and shaking their head every 15 minutes. Tip #4: be younger, less sober, and more awake than I was when you come here. I'm thinking if those three circumstances were different, I might have felt differently. Might. If you see me at Big Joe's again, it'll likely be a random Wednesday. As for turtle racing Friday, I came, I saw, I bounced, and it's out of my system. Tip #5: Don't underestimate Jolanda. Didn't we learn slow and steady wins the race?

turtle racing from 9:30 onwards! If you don't want to wait in line with a bunch of underage kids to get into a dive bar, you better come before 9pm. Tv's around the bar so you can watch the action even if you're not in front of the ring, and prizes go to the person who has the slowest turtle, i.e. Jolanda. No telling what Jolanda will do every night, but there's not doubt she's the slowest turtle in the world. #SorryJolanda

If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: "You need to experience a turtle race at least once in your life!" For this reason, Big Joe's has been on my Chicago bucket list since moving here and lucky for me, I only live a couple blocks away. Honestly, it wasn't as crazy as I expected, but it definitely gets busy for a neighborhood dive bar. It's an interesting mix of regulars, tourists, and young people who come from all over the city. The way it works is pretty simple. Buy drinks, earn raffle tickets. The more tickets you accumulate, the greater your chances are of getting drawn to participate in the race. I was miraculously drawn two races in a row, despite the drunkards behind me that had WAY more tickets. My first turtle was Jolanda, "the slowest fucking turtle", as they say. It seems kind of mean that they keep repeating that over and over again throughout the night, but the Turtle Wrangler seems to be in some kind of trance when he says it. Anyway, she got 2nd to last place which got me squat. In the second race, I got paired with Lola (also, incredibly slow) but luckily enough, she was slow enough to come in last which meant a free drink token for me! ...it's the little things in life. I guess the Turtle Gods were looking out for us that night, because our group was extremely lucky. In fact, out of our group of six, four of us got picked to race and two of us raced multiple times. My friend even made it to the final round and won a t-shirt! Score. I'd like to think he wears it around his apartment everyday and gives himself thumbs up in the mirror. Did I mention some lady just walked up to him and handed him a drink after that? The drink was awful, but the glory was magnificent. We were Turtle Kings, if only for a night. FYI: The turtle races start around 10PM on Friday nights. It's extremely difficult to find accurate information about this anywhere online, which is strange considering so many people say "Oh, you must go and experience it!" but yet you can't find two sites with reliable, matching info about WHEN to go. Many people say you must go early. I've heard people start filling up the place 1-2 hours prior, however, that was not my experience. Maybe I just got lucky, but the bar never hit capacity and the crowd kept dwindling throughout the night, strengthening our chances of getting to race. With that said, our neighbors had some out-of-towners come stay with them last weekend and when they tried going around 7:30, they were turned away. I guess it's a crapshoot. "May the odds be...." God, I hate myself sometimes. Just do it.

One friend got picked for the turtle race. Then another friend got picked for a turtle race. Then another friend who never been there before got picked for the turtle race.. Then I got sad. THEN I got picked for the turtle race with the fastest turtle!!!!!!!!!!! Then my turtle lost. Then I got sad. Then someone was playing with my darts and wouldn't give them back and started insulting me. Then I took my darts back with force and foul language. Then I played darts. Then I won money playing darts. Then I was happy. I do not know why I drank an entire pitcher with no cup.

This place rules. Carpeted floors, pool table, dart board, and oh cheap beer. Came in here on a weekday and it was a crowd of regulars watching the Cubs game. The bar tender Lisa made us feel welcome and served up some cold, draft PBRs for 3.5/each. Never been here on a Friday but they do turtle races. Will def pop in as I live right across the street. If you like dive bars this place should be on your list to visit.

$3 Stella specials on a Saturday night is whats up!!!! DJ playing a mixture of different music is whats up!!!! Having great street parking is also whats up!!!! Big ups to the woman manning the bar by herself all night long They also have dartboards and pool tables

The MC is hilarious - definitely recommend. Good prices and a good atmosphere. Turtle races are tons of fun.

Cool turtle racing bar. Good service and decent prices. My only suggestion is to do something different with the turtle races. If your ticket isn't pulled and you aren't assigned a turtle then the race is boring, as you have no rooting interest. Maybe do something where you can bet your tickets on the turtle you think is going to win and then a ticket is pulled from the winning turtle. Overall, I'd recommend to others.

My brother took me here for Friday night turtle racing and was shocked I hadn't been before as this place is just a few blocks from me! It's a fun concept to cheer on a turtle, and people get really invested! You can buy raffle tickets, although I forget the point of the raffle tickets (we were obviously throwing a few back)...it had something to do with the race. Don't expect any fancy drinks here, just your classic Chicago beers and domestic bottles. They have Little Sumpin Sumpin which made me happy.

Overall fun, but after seeing it once, I would only go again if out-of-towners wanted to experience it. Here are my "pro"-tips: 1) go early-ish and score a high top table on the upper level (near the bathrooms, near a screen to see the turtle races, but most importantly: near the two AC units). Note: we did not do this, but I think it would have been a much better experience if we had. 2) races are at 10p -- pace yourself. We witnessed some serious drunk-girl-drama and super d-bag dudes. Don't be those people... you're better than that. 3) be ready to score a pizza for $10 around 9:30p. Random guy comes by with a stack of pizzas -- what more do you need? 4) Cash only. Yes, there's an ATM, but when I was there, a group of drunk girls were practically grinding on the ATM... or maybe they were trying to secure a dude with enough money in his account to withdraw from an ATM... or they thought the machine would make it rain? Not sure. Again, see #2... be better. I was the only one in our group to get to race a turtle. Jolanda (The Slowest Fucking Turtle in the World) did me a solid and came in last (as expected) so I scored a free drink token. Fun to do at least once, but not my scene for an average Friday night.

Love this place! You have to go on a Friday night for the main event: Turtle Races! :o) Buy drinks and get tickets. If your number is called, you could win a free t-shirt and drink! The crowd really gets into it and has a lot of fun. Drinks are pretty reasonably priced too. It feels like you're at a big college house party. Good times!

This is a great neighborhood bar. Very friendly people and cheap beer. No food but you can have it delivered to the bar. On most nights it slow with the exception of the Friday Night Turtle Races. Every time you buy a drink you get tickets. If they draw your tickets you get to go up and pick your turtle. A group of turtles are placed in the middle of a large table and scramble for the edges. Winner gets a t-shirt and last place gets free beer! Take a look at the photos. If that doesn't look like a good time I don't know what does. I can't imagine a better way to spend a Friday night!

Turtle racing. That is what makes Big Joe's famous. Without turtle racing, Big Joe's is just another casual, neighborhood dive bar. Big Joe's has a full bar, decent prices, some tables and TVs...like a lot of other bars. But TURTLE RACING. I came here for a friend's birthday. Turtle racing is on Saturday nights at 10:00 p.m., and it gets packed to capacity early. My friend arrived at 8:30 p.m., and by the time we arrived, we found her crammed into a corner on a bar stool. As for us, we were wedged in the corner by the ATM for the time that we were here. Another friend ended up having to wait outside by herself, because the bar was at CAPACITY. I was told that it gets busy, but not to this extent, so perhaps the extra large crowd that night was also out celebrating St. Patrick's Day AND the streak of warm weather. I would still tell anyone to get here EARLY. Since the turtle races are done at the back of the bar, turtles on a table, with little "spectator" space, there wasn't any chance we would actually witness the turtle races. Big Joe's has sort of figured this out - there's a large TV screen above the bar that broadcasts the turtle race for all to see. Everyone has the chance to race turtles. For every drink you buy, they give you a raffle ticket. If your number is chosen, you're assigned to a turtle. If your turtle wins, you win a Big Joe's t-shirt. If your turtle is in last place, you get a free drink. Turtle racing is absolutely gimmicky, but at least I can say I've seen it happen. Since we had a really poor view of everything, it wasn't too exciting, but if I lived in the neighborhood I might find myself back here again, or I'd be happy to oblige a friend's birthday invite. It's not a "must see" kind of thing though.

We showed up at 9:45pm last Friday and the races had already begun! We had to wait outside for at least 45 minutes. This was my 2nd time going, and the first time we went, the races definitely started later in the night. It just depends on how busy they are. Cash Only. Have a few snacks (chips and jerky) but no food. Around midnight a pizza guy came in and sold pizzas for $12 each... what a lifesaver.

Great staff and great concept. But the place has a very racist -frat party vibe to it. I went there with my girlfriend I got my fair share of disapproving stares and one of the patrons there looked at me and said "disgusting" to his pal. It is also very cramped in there and very limited seating. I don't think that the staff is racist or anything, but definitely I did not feel welcome there by the other people there. Great place if you are middle aged caucasian male, you will fit right in and have a great time there. AGain, I would give the place five stars, but as for my experience, I didn't really like it. The drinks were good and cheap.

I came to Big Joes to check out the turtle races, but was there pretty early and got a feeling for the 'real Big Joes' too. I think the real Big Joes, sans all the turtle race fans, is a laid back dive bar with a pool table, some dart boards, and a few flat screens to watch a game or two on. The drinks were pretty cheap, the bartenders were nice. All in all not a bad place. Enter turtle race fans and the whole vibe changes. The turtle race crowd is younger, just there to see what it's like to watch turtles race, and obviously plan on continuing their night at a much different caliber venue. It was hot, crowded to the point of drinks spilling on people, and kinda hard to get to the bar. BUT, there were turtles about to race, and how can that not be fun? You get raffle tickets for the drinks you buy and they call numbers for the lucky person who gets to race the turtles. The first turtle out of the circle and the last turtle in the circle win. I won!!!!!!! My turtle, Chucks, was the last turtle in the circle and I won a free drink. How exciting. Then we left. :) If I lived near by Big Joe's would be a good dive bar to hang out at, play pool, throw some darts, and have a relaxing no fuss night. But not on turtle race night. On turtle race night it's a packed and pushy turtle racing spectacle.

Came here Sunday night to participate in a new literary reading series hosted by Nancy Beckett and the Lakeside Sunday Storyoke crew! Squashed between the ending of the Bears game and before the Jazz musicians set up, we took over the upper level back stage and we all had a great time! Wonderful stories were shared, beer was poured and boy did we laugh. It was truly a fantastic experience! I can't wait until the next installation, since Nick the barkeep and host just bought 3 brand-new TVs so we'll be able to simulcast the storytellers at the mic, all over the bar. I'll need to comb my hair and print out my prose in 14 Times New Roman Font so I'll look fabulous and be able to read without squinting, since everyone will know what I look like. Maybe even some lip gloss, if I feel like it. So, since the first one went rather well, we're hoping to do this literary reading series here every month, so stay tuned and come on over, if you dare to hear some prose from me, Krazy Kate and my cool kat friends. I also need to come back on a Friday night to check out the awesome turtle races I keep hearing so much about. Big Joe's gets a hip hip hurray from me for being such an awesome establishment!

My first thought when I heard about turtle racing was of a crowded pit of people, all shaking and waving myriad dollar bills of different currencies at each other, alternately shouting with joy and cursing depending on their rapidly changing fortunes over the course of the race. I of course was immediately interested in throwing my hand into a ring of arbitrary wagering and got very excited to join in. We were told Big Joe's gets very crowded, so we should arrive early. A combination of restlessness and obsessive punctuality led to showing up at the bar at 7:30. Turtle racing doesn't start until 10:15, and people dont really fill in until at least 9:30. Keep that in mind if you're not OK entertaining yourself for a couple hours on cheap pitchers and a 75 cent per game pool table. Sadly, while the venue itself is a reasonable hangout (pool table, 3+ dart boards, cheap drinks), the turtle racing was little more than a novelty. After the initial moment when the glass cage is released, watching the turtles is quite literally like watching grass grow. They space out the 6 races for the night quite a ways so you stick around (can't blame them I suppose), but there really isn't too much action going on and the turtle racing area is quite crowded. The prizes are a t-shirt for the winner, and a beer for the loser. Nobody was making side bets of any kind (except for me). Sigh. I suppose I'll probably end up back here at some point in the distant future; but let's just say that if you're a regular at OTB, you're not exactly going to get your fix in here.

So, I had to check out these turtle races last Friday... but for some reason, I was under the surefire impression that they started at 7PM!? Yeah, they don't, they probably started closer to 10PM, but of course I dragged my fella down there around 530PM (we wanted to be early, and had no idea exactly how early we actually were). The result? We started drinking early, because pitchers of PBR were cheap, and got us 6 tickets each. We played a variety of music on the jukebox that ranged from Johnny Cash to Sammy Hagar to Rihanna (you can guess which two I picked...) Yeah, we were drunk and more or less disorderly, and only made it through the first turtle race before we were too sick/tired/confused/hot (huge crowd!) to continue on in our current states, and we went home. Despite all of these setbacks, we had an AWESOME time, and plan on going again in the future. But we won't be so unfashionably early, next time.

In case you were curious, you absolutely can have your own private turtle party. I did this weekend and it. was. RIDICULOUS. Renee was a delight, and you all know how much I love the rest of the crew. I'm probably sounding a bit schmoopy here, as I've been on cloud nine since getting engaged. But there are good people here with good hearts. Dom went out of his way to make my faux engagement party one of the best nights I've ever had. They made us a ridiculous sign. They let my pregnant friends go to the super-secret back porch if they needed to get air. They didn't bat an eye at my ridiculous dancing. Over the course of many years, these guys have become like a second family to me. I suppose Big Joe's is my Cheers. Sometimes I just wanna go where they know me, y'know?

"Hey there's turtle racing at a dive bar by my place, want to come?" When I was asked that, I thought...hell yes! Something different; something that sounds super fun! We walk in and the first thing we all noticed almost instantly was that the place is a. small and b. extremely hot in there!! It got more and more crowded as the night went on so by the end of our night, we were all pretty soaked in our own sweat. Bleh. Now on to, what was supposed to be, the highlight of the night- turtles. So this is how it goes, people. As you order drinks, they give you tickets with numbers on them (like those you would get at a raffle). The more you order, the more tickets you get. Ie. I believe a pitcher got us 8 tix. There are five rounds of races with approx 6 or 7 turtles as 'participants'. The only way you can bet on a turtle and actually win something is if they call one of your ticket numbers. Our table, with over 10 people, had approx 80 tickets and not once did we get called the whole night!!! How is that possible?! The odds are definitely against you here, people. It just doesn't make sense and it's pretty unfair. We spent a pretty penny on pitchers and shots and we couldn't even get up close to see the damn heroes in a half shell. From what we saw on the big screen and heard people screaming, avoid Yolanda if your ticket does miraculously get called but my advice to you all: avoid this entire place. I'd rather buy five turtles and watch them go at it with some friends in our own house!

I am a fan of Big Joes, mainly because I live a block away. The staff are always super friendly, especially if you go on an empty weeknight. Definitely a neighborhood type place. The only busy night is Friday with the turtle races. It is a great time, especially if you are wasted. Somehow watching turtles make their way to the edge of a circle is only fun when you are drunk, who knew? I like that they have a gimmicky thing on Fridays though. I live so far north that it is hard for me to get my friends to go out in my hood. But when you say "have you ever seen a turtle race" they all come running. Next thing I know I have a pre party at my place and don't have to pay for any cabs. Thanks Big Joe's! Keep racin' dem turtles!

Went here for the turtle races, but it took FOREVER for the guy to begin. We could only take so much of the awful crowd before we had to abandon any hope of seeing the turtles race. The place is a dive, which was fine...but it got really cramped in there. Also, the turtle wrangler seriously needs to be nicer to the turtles. Several times he would open the box, look in at them, and then shove the box in the corner really hard. Be nicer, turtle abuser. Also, why not let them walk around a bit? Why are these turtles trapped in a cardboard box?! Big Joe's is cash-only, which is lame but wasn't an issue with us. The beer was fine and not too expensive. It was a combination of awful drunk college girls, turtle abuse and claustrophobia that sent us packing. Was actually really excited to go here, but was really disappointed. Bummer.

Turtle racing. On Thursday, I didn't know this existed. On Friday, I went home a winner. At Big Joe's, you buy drinks and those drinks come with tickets if it's racing night. If your ticket number is called, you get to participate in the turtle races (there are multiple races per evening). My speedy turtle (Lucky Dan) won me a 1st place T-shirt. However, the turtle you want is actually Yolanda. She's so slow and the loser wins a free drink, which I'm sure we can agree is way better than a T-shirt. Anyway, I'll let you figure out the rest when you get there, because it's all part of the experience. Other amenities: -Beer and other drinkables -Darts -A bathroom that looks eerily like the bathroom of your friend's parents' house -No food, but around midnight someone comes by selling pizza from a nearby place. It's not great, but sometimes you haven't had dinner and you just HAVE to eat it for your own well-being. Big Joe's is basically everyman's neighborhood dive... and potentially everyturtle's too.

What a great place to hang with some friends and have a great time watching turtles race! I mean come on! Turtle Races! Where else can you watch turtles take each other on in a grudge match that can last for a while because they are not that fast... We not only went and drank but we also got into the race and WON! Woo Hoo a free Joe's T-Shirt!! Good Times...

A friend turned 30. We needed Jaeger shots. I think you know what comes next, but how did we wind up at Joe's? Not by taking the 92 bus, rather stumbling out of a fabulous NeoFuturist play called "Beer". LOVED the play. So hard. And loved Joe's. Renee, the bartender, was a delight. I like places that don't try too hard. You respect them, they pour shots to the rim of the glass. You put Afro Man on the jukebox, everyone cheers. They host private parties in the back, but the party goers are practically family by the end of the night. Loved the whole scene. Loved the guy with thick-rimmed 70's specs and a goatee. Loved the fat man in a leather vest. Loved the scenesters with sequins. Bottom line, good, strong drinks with a mosaic of Chicagoans around just chatting and carrying on. It's too legit. Too legit to quit.

Being successful in business is providing a product/service no one else does. I do believe Big Joe's has succeeded where others have failed with Turtle Races. Yes, for the price of a few beers you can watch 6 turtles go neck and neck. (Neck and neck being a relative term in regards to turtles). Takes place every Friday and the first Saturday of every month. This is a neighborhood bar, which means there is a healthy mix of locals, and patrons here for the races.

I celebrated my birthday (again!) here a few nights ago. All I can say is WOW!!! The bartendress was wasted and a lot of fun! My friend and I sat at the bar for a while and made up a drinking game for The Bachelor. The bartendress kept coming over and being silly and we loved it! Then the rest of our party showed up and we quickly took over the back room. The bartendress was quick with the pitchers and making us all laugh. Big Joe's is a great neighborhood bar.

Did you say Turtle Racing? Yes please!!! The place was SUPER packed and the guys behind the bar were great. I asked if they had wine (I know), and he literally looked at me and said "you're kidding, right?" HA! Love it! We got a bunch of tickets with our drinks and settled upstairs hoping and praying to be called! As luck would have it folks, my ticket was called and I literally could not have been more excited. I ran up to the man in the turtle hat, pulled out my ball and sighhhh #5 Jolanda! SLOWEST turtle in the pack! Jolanda literally sat in the middle and just stared at me...she wasnt budging. I still got a drink token though and had a blast competing with the other turtle racers! We stayed for a bit longer, but once you've seen a few races its time to move on. Its definitely a fun place to frequent...everyone really gets into the racing and its quite hysterical. If you havent been definitely check it out.

I was pretty stoked when my friend invited me to see the turtle races at Big Joe's (which only happen on Fridays I believe) but was disappointed at the end of the night. I know it's a dive bar so obviously it's not anything fancy but it was too hot and crowded for my taste. It might just be that I'm getting older and grumpier but I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was sit and enjoy a beverage. The atmosphere at Big Joe's was very lively which was nice and everyone was very into the turtle racing. I think this type of bar just isn't my scene, at least not on a Friday night when it's super packed. I'm sure it could be fun with a good group of people!