Jim N.
Yelp
I don't know where to start on this one... based upon some prior reviews on other internet sites, our expectations going into Cafe Martorano (CM) were high. We waited for a table long past our reservation time but were excited once seated. First observation, CM is as much a 70s disco as it is a restaurant. Two issues with that... first, the music is so loud you cannot even have a conversation, and we were seated outside! Second, the crowd is generally older, a "Love Boat" crowd trying to hang out at a throwback disco.
Anyway, I digress... the meal. Gerardo was our waiter, "G" as he is known. Colby was his assistant. We ordered a couple of cocktails, lychee martini and skinny spicy margarita. Both were very good! Next came the food order process, which they explain is inviolate. Once you order, there are no changes or substitutions, the kitchen runs on a clock, no exceptions. We ordered the grilled octopus and stacked eggplant appetizers. And selected a lobster entree and catch of the day as our dinner. All good, order in.
About 5 minutes later G comes back to report they have no more grilled octopus. OK, we roll with that, we'll have the calamari instead. G returns again another 5 minutes later to report they now have no more stacked eggplant. OK with that too, we ordered the pigs feet (something different). So, all is well right? Wrong, remember that "the kitchen runs on a clock" thing?
The calamari arrives, delicious, perhaps some of the best ever. About 1/2 through the calamari, the pigs' feet arrive, and it's a platter (check pic). No one explained the gargantuan serving size of the appetizer going in. (Colby told us later that the pigs' feet appetizer is the cheapest thing on the menu, and the kitchen needs to get rid of it at the end of the night, that's why the portion was so big!). So, we mopped up the calamari, and we were 5 minutes into the pigs' feet when the entrees arrived. We told G we're not ready for those, and suggested he return them to the kitchen, which he did.
G is back two minutes later saying, "the kitchen says the entrees HAVE to be served now, they have no heat lamps." We decided our dinner would be cold no matter what, so bring them out. He did. 15 minutes later, we set aside the remaining appetizer, and tried the entrees... cold and disgusting. We sent them back. No use taking them, we had an early flight the next morning. No pics of the entrees included here, they looked and tasted cold and horrible!
The problem came down to "the kitchen runs on a clock." All food ordered at one time (no exceptions) and the clock starts running. Apparently, the kitchen and wait staff are not smart enough to realize (or they just don't care, which is perhaps a bigger problem) when an initial set of appetizers is ordered, and are not available because of a shortage the kitchen, and substitute appetizers are ordered, the waiter and/or kitchen need to hold up the rest of the food and adjust the service schedule. I worked in the restaurant business for years; it's not rocket science. It's common sense. CM does not care enough about its customers to try to make it a good experience, it's their "rules," too bad if you don't like it.
We explained the problem to G, and all we got back over and over was "We told you up front the kitchen works on a clock." Great reasoning for someone with no capacity to think out of his little box. Instead, he treated us like we're idiots who didn't understand the rules.
It was a waiter/kitchen screw up, the appropriate move was to re-make the entrees when we were ready for them. By the way, this all took place at 11:30pm, the place wasn't crowded. And, finally, there was no move to adjust our bill in light of the restaurant's mistakes. A very expensive dinner ($300) that ended up in the trash. We were planning after dinner drinks and dessert, no chance for that. For the first time in 30+ years, I left no tip. That seemed fair.
Between the cheesy 70s disco for the 50+ crowd, the music so loud you need earplugs even to sit outside, the condescending and arrogant service staff, a servers/kitchen apparently run by the mindless, CM ranks up there as one of the top 3 worst dinners I have had... ever! Popularity has obviously given rise to arrogance and stupidity. Not only can I NOT recommend CM, my advice is that you avoid CM at all costs. If I could rate CM negative 5 stars, I would. Don't waste your money on that place. Go to Olive Garden, the food and service is much better! If I sound irritated, I am, and it's 5 days later.
