Dan R.
Yelp
Rio's Copacabana Beach is a such a vibrant destination all its own, it almost doesn't matter where in the area you stay. Unless you stay at Copacabana Palace. Because then, it most definitely, for sure, 100% matters.
And while Copacabana Palace is a world-class, five-star hotel, it doesn't act like it. Don't get me wrong, this is a masterclass in Southern (Hemisphere) Hospitality, with everyone from the concierge to the bellhop to the shop girl to the masseuse being at the absolute top of their game. But this is Rio, a city with natural beauty everywhere you turn, and no matter how luxurious this hotel may be, it remains humbled by its God-given surroundings. And therefore, this very prestigious establishment spends no time stroking its own ego by making you feel like it's a favor of theirs to let you walk through their doors, but rather eagerly welcomes the opportunity to accommodate you while staying in their beloved Cidade Maravilhosa.
From its stately, art-deco exterior to the intoxicating lemongrass scent as soon as we entered (which is bottled and sold at the spa and was therefore promptly purchased by my wife) to the framed pictures of famous guests (Orson Welles, Marilyn Monroe, Walt Disney, Michael Jackson, Princess Diana, to name a few) dating back to its 1923 opening that fill the length of the second floor, it was clear early on this was going to be a very special stay.
We got a room with a city view, instead of a beach view, which I didn't actually mind. In fact, if I return, I might opt that way again. You see beach views all day in Rio and it's nice to walk out onto the balcony and get a feel for real Carioca life, given you're essentially peering into well-to-do locals' condos across a busy street below. Also, maybe because this was my first time in South America, or maybe because I'm an escapist-fantasizing manchild, but being out on that balcony also kinda felt like I was a highly valuable spy hiding out in Rio, but because I'm bougie and have that leverage with my government, I make them put me up in Copcabana Palace. (Just, play along.)
Anyway, when it's time to ditch the low profile and CIA agent reverie, and instead, get outdoors to sun your more-than-socially-acceptable Brazilian buns, you've got both the hotel pool and the world-famous Copacabana Beach right at your fingertips.
First off, the pictures of the pool don't do it justice at all. Half-Olympic sized and located prominently between the hotel's main building and the tower accommodations, it's a gorgeous centerpiece for the establishment and entirely underused (at least it was during our stay). Picture a Miami mega resort's swimming pool without the overwhelming Instagram model population (OK, maybe one or two), a scene where you're not constantly in danger of being the creep in the back of some girl's butt pic, yet can still enjoy the luxury of being somewhere sexy. Also, they keep the pool open for nightswimming, if that's your thing, Michael Stipe.
As for Copacabana Beach, it's right out front, across the street, along those signature wavy, black-and-white sidewalks of Rio. It's a lively, public space, with endless food vendors, caipirinha kiosks, pick-up volleyball games, and, of course, lots of skin. The hotel has a complimentary sectioned-off plot of sand with beach chairs and umbrellas, slightly removed from the mayhem, though close enough to the action to wander about while the hotel staff watch your things. Each scene (pool and beach) has its own speed, so rather than recommend one over the other, make sure you plan time to experience both.
And pencil in the spa, while you're at it. For a five-star hotel, and yes, a favorable USD exchange rate, the treatments were very reasonably priced. The facilities were surprisingly spacious, and we were highly impressed by our masseuse, as she described oils and other fancy-smelling items in flawless English. Rio is a pretty easy place to unwind, so while there may have been fewer knots to knead, that didn't diminish in the least what was an excellent, first-rate massage.
For whatever reasons, I'm especially nit-picky with hotels, regularly finding a thing or two just not quite up to snuff. Perhaps I'm like this because I know, in the back of my mind, there are ultra-accommodating places out there that truly deserve five-star status, so I reserve my standing ovations for perfection. Copacabana Palace is one of these ultra-accommodating places, a high-ass standard that further validates my nit-pickiness, and on a selfish level, that feels good. I can't recall getting hotelsick for any place other than Copacabana Palace, and when I do, I just spritz a bit of lemongrass in my apartment, wear my shortest swim trunks, and slip back into my best James Bond daydream. Not weird at all.