Emily S.
Yelp
Honestly. Don't even waste your time. This place literally ruined my night. We called around 6pm to see if a party of two could be accommodated at 6:30. The woman on the phone said there was one table so she'd go ahead and make our reservation. We asked about parking on the phone and were told valet is $7 or we could self-park in the garage and Safina would validate up to 2 hours.
We got there and the valet guy took our keys and didn't give us a valet slip. When we asked about it, he said' "I'm the door man, I'll take care of you." Umm okay, cool? But if we have no proof that we gave you our car and it isn't here when we come out, we're going to have a serious problem.
When we finally walked inside, the place was dead. We even wondered if we were at the wrong location. I guess the woman meant there was only one occupied table?
We sit down and our server is so awkward - he just giggles when we talk to him and doesn't know how to respond or communicate at all. We were given the regular menu but not the HRW menu. When we finally got a hold of that, we asked what the "grilled beef grenadines" were and all our server could say was "it's beef, obviously." Well.... duh? What kind of beef? What cut? How is it prepared? He proceeded to tell us it came with potatoes and green beans and a mushroom sauce. Yep. Got that. It says that on the menu. How about let's talk about the type of beef. So he finally tells us it's tenderloin only after we asked if it was filet, a strip, a tenderloin, etc. So we told him we would try it. He didn't ask for the temperature so I asked if I could specify the temperature and asked for medium rare. He said he would ask if the kitchen could do that. He came back after we ordered and said the kitchen would make it medium rare. Well I surely hope this fine dining-marketed establishment can cook a piece of meat for a few seconds on each side.
The appetizers came out and the tomato and watermelon in the caprese were both mealy and not fresh. The Brussels sprouts were actually pretty good but the sauce was overly sweet. The cioppino literally tasted like a Red Baron frozen pizza. The seafood was fresh but it just wasn't very good and the excessive peppers and tomatoes were overkill. The "medium rare tenderloin" was a well done hangar steak smothered in a salty cream sauce with mushrooms. Our server asked how the food was and I said it was fine but the steak was well done. He made a face at me and started a staring competition. I never lose staring competitions so he finally broke into giggles (here we go again) and said he would check with the kitchen. Well that was the last time we saw him for the remainder of the night until we had to flag him down for our check because we had been sitting there for 30 minutes and honestly just wanted nothing more than to leave.
The desserts were tiny and salty and the whole experience was just kind of awful. Their regular menu looked limited and expensive. Not sure how any of this qualifies as Mediterranean food. If you want Mediterranean, go to Pasha or maybe pop into Aladdin but definitely don't waste your time and go here.
When we were finally leaving, we showed up at the valet and the "doorman" gave us car keys. That WEREN'T ours. I mean a whole key ring with house keys and loyalty/membership cards attached. We literally could have driven off with someone else's vehicle. We told him those weren't our keys and he reached back into his pocket and lucky number 2 ours popped out. What if he had given our keys to someone else who wasn't as honest?
What a night.