Chow Y.
Yelp
The Good, The Bad and the Terrible...Pumpkin Spice.
This was a surreal experience, in so many ways. If I could do it again, I would come here without taking the tour and focus on the museum, the gift shop and the grounds themselves. Oh, and the EXCELLENT "Miss Ellie Deli".
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When you arrive, you pass through the gift shop into the museum area which you're likely excited to check out (it's extremely well done)--but the museum will need to wait, if you take the tour.
First, a photographer sort of suckers you in to sitting for a cheesy Cowboy hat photo (I'm hoping the last people didn't have lice or dandruff as I put the hat on). He's a nice enough guy although you can tell, like everyone here save the gift shop folks--he's probably had more than enough of Dallas and this job. You're asked to hang around for the start of the tour although you're (supposedly) welcome to look at the museum while you wait (didn't get that vibe though).
The main point here is to get you on the tour so you can return to the museum, photographer and gift shop to drop more cash later. Makes sense. And btw, the price is very reasonable. They should just include the photographer fee and make it all inclusive.
The tour itself is both thrilling--as a fan--and mildly annoying, for other reasons. The tour guide seems more like a robot, repeating mostly useless information in, I would say, a very patronizing, almost disinterested manner. I get the sense that they sort of have contempt for these fools who waste their time trying to see where the fantasy of Dallas was created. Not a lot of breathing room for questions, comments, etc. In fact, guest comments did not seem to be welcome.
But more than anything, the tour-guide tries to sell you on using the Southfork venue for your personal and/or business events. That's really what this is ALL about. It's like a bad timeshare experience. Of course, if they really knew how to sell, they would have focused on the nostalgia of Dallas, the show, and the actual history of the city of Dallas, and what the show best represented about it.
The interiors of Southfork are gaudy, overdone and very non-Dallas-like, despite a few Dallas paintings, etc. (with the exception of Lucy's room, since she was pretty gaudy to begin with). The tour guide brags about the owner spending a few hundred thousand on the redecorations. We can't stand them.
The worst part was the STRONG, horrible smell of something like Pumpkin Spice and ultra-cheap perfume--mashed together, which you cannot escape from--it's all over the house. I needed a respirator by the end. Of course, the whole thing is also very small in comparison to the giant estate that Hollywood created on sets in LA.
The tour guide spends more time talking about the house from a venue or historical perspective than offering almost any information on the show, although there was some, such as snide comments about Patrick Duffy. Apparently, the tour guide doesn't think very highly of him.
It was only until we returned to the gift shop and spoke to a charming woman who actually has worked there from many years, that we learned anything about the cast, Larry in particular, and felt (for a few seconds) that someone here actually LIKED the show, the man, the place.
The gift shop itself is filled with mostly unimaginative non-Dallas themed march. Why they can't get some products from a local license, who the hell knows.
The whole thing felt like we were intruding into some Pumpkin-Spice miniature version of Dallas, devoid of any of the spirit that the show embodied.
What spirit is that you might ask? Well, whatever flaws he embodied, Larry Hagman and crew represented that can-do, love of LIFE and particularly, American sense of Life, business, love affairs, travel, excitement--the joie de vivre--Texan-style and Texan-size. I didn't love to HATE J.R. Ewing. Like you, admit it or not, I LOVED J.R. And still do.
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I'm sorry to report the negatives. I don't regret going for my own reasons. In part, to pay my respect to Larry--what he represented to me in my life--as this was where his ashes were scattered despite what the staff may tell you (it's illegal to scatter ashes on the grounds here, apparently).
More than this, Dallas represented the best of American culture and life at a time when we still believed in ourselves. Ironically, Trump is very much a J.R. Ewing. Although, not as witty.
One shining star, outside of the woman (actually women) in the gift shop, was the FOOD at Miss Ellie's Deli. Perhaps the best chicken salad that I've ever tasted. I felt so bad for that nice latino lady, bored out of her mind, sitting in there.
Wasted talent. She's an incredible chef. Someone should open her up a restaurant.
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I still recommend visiting but DO NOT take the tour. The photo from our photographer friend...oh I guess so. Do that. But that's it.