Ron W.
Yelp
This place could've been a old time Stagecoach stop. It might well have been. Even though the Tavern is part of a huge property everything about it is warm and charming...until you get to the food. Hold your hosses, we'll get to the food.
The decor is heavy wooden beams, a collection of ancient cheese boards on a wall, and more leather than a Dominatrix's den. All of it exudes deep rich comfort while dining. It's what you'd expect in a Brothel catering to Congressmen in the 20's. Hushed conversations, muted tones, money. It has that "take a niece to lunch" feel.
I can envision Eleanor nibbling at her toast and sipping tea while Franklin was busy wheeling after the cute server and leaving a trail of smoke behind his chair in every one of the several dining rooms.
Sit outside and take in the expansive nature all around or sit inside nestled into a deep dish wing chair and savor the clubby atmosphere.
A promising menu offers a substantial number of breakfast choices coming from the busy open kitchen. I thought it would be a perfect way/place to start your day walking, waddling, and or staggering from tasting room to tasting room in town which is mostly what there is to do in Los Olivos. Very civilized, no?
The Staff: They are all completely caffeinated, cheerful, in constant motion and happy to see you.
Who's sitting at the next table? Inn'erts and tourists giving occasional thought to reacquiring sobriety after a day of tasting and wasting.
What's to eat? There is a Full Bar, and Wine to the rafters. It's the perfect spot for a Bloody one. And someone knew how to make a good one. So, I say, go ahead, it's a vacay, what the hey.
The menu lists upscale diner chow and all House made. No throwin' shade on what's available. You can have your Death Row Breakfast here. Wait a minute, they only give you a last dinner. You'll have to work with that.
Sadly, the touted Chilaquiles was MIA. So, instead I opted for the Hangtown Fry. A classic originating in Placerville, California. (aka Hangtown). One day a miner hit a main vein and emerged from his mine filthy and filthy rich. He proceeded to the Cary House Hotel and ordered the most expensive items on the menu. Eggs and Oysters both sold for $50 per during the Gold Rush. He asked for a dozen of each. The added thick sliced Bacon was a spiff on the House.
Mattei's version from the top down was a scattering of Baby Arugula lightly dressed in a basic Vinaigrette. Not bad, but not necessary. Just underneath the Salad were two Monkey fist sized lovely breaded bivalves. Hot, crispy, gooey and oozing serious oysterosity. They were wonderful and wonderfully plumb and I could have easily polished off that miner's dozen, plus.
The whole dish was prepared in a small cast iron pan that held the Eggs. Cast iron holds the heat. Sadly, the Eggs were an Omelet of sorts as a stage for the Oysters and was as rubbery as a Whoopie Cushion. You could have used the Eggs for a Bounce House floor or a Pickle Ball paddle. I needed a steak knife to cut it, so for me the Eggs didn't cut it.
The takeaway, is that a good Hangtown Fry requires a soft scramble and if the Chef insists on an Omelet then make a French one preferably made by someone who can truly make one. It should be as loose and creamy as whatever you've experienced in your life that was loose and creamy. (By the whey we want to see them curds).
Fine, call me a food snob. But then you're reading this review to get my opinion for whatever that's worth. (Exactly what you've paid for it, probably). And that's exactly what it is, just my opinion.
The tough little Egg round was supplemented by a few sad lardons of uncured, unseasoned Pork Belly. Boy's you need to rub your slab with enthusiasm and season for a reason and this dish requires both curing and rubbing your Pork before adding it to the mix.
On the plus side, the House makes a Hot Sauce to be reckoned with. It's as good as Hot Sauce gets. Slightly vinegary, slightly garlicy, and just the right amount of Chile to leave some lovely lingering heat. The razor thin Red Jalapeno coins were just the right punctuation point to boost the Sauce to top tier tear jerker.
Go ahead, have breakfast here. Make up your own mind.
For me, it's Mattei...nice try.