Valhalla

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to drink in a crypt while being scolded by a medieval librarian, this place is your answer. The music? Gregorian chants. Nonstop. As if the vibes weren’t already cursed enough, the bar is cramped, musty, and crusty—like it’s been sealed in a time capsule labeled “Do Not Disturb, Ever.” There’s a giant book of history literally chained to the bar, and the chain constantly clanks against the floor or your leg like a passive-aggressive ghost. Every now and then, someone behind the bar launches into a random lecture about obscure historical events no one asked for—think “Drunk TED Talk meets detention.” Don’t even think about skipping the tip. The bartenders will shoot you a look like you just insulted their entire bloodline. Save yourself the trip unless you’re really into medieval punishment with a side of stale beer.

If you like warm, flat, and overpriced beer, this is your bar. Wouldn’t come back unless I had to. Maybe if the beer was free. Otherwise, decent staff.

A great College hole in the wall (literally). They don’t take credit cards and I had cash so I offered to pay for 5 people. I took out a $100 expecting some change and was told the bill was $10 (wow!). Great prices and a hogwarts like vibe. Transported me to my college days…

They say this place is Valhalla? More like Hellheim. Not a place I would consider having a good time at. All the drinks are way too expensive and beer is beyond flat. One of the bartenders saw me and would not stop yelling at me to repent for my sins. I simply could not recommend this place at all whatsoever.

I don't normally leave a review for bar, but this place was so bad I felt the need to warn everyone. DO NOT GO! You would think I would love the place since they often pour the awesome beer from Gigantic Brewing, my brewery, but no - the beer is sold for too cheap, the people there are too smart and interesting to talk to, and the vibe of the place is old.. it was built in the 60's or 70's and people smoke there - well they did for years I mean, not any longer though. Plus they have a large hammer they make you hold, and that makes my bicep hurt.

My father gave me one thing in life, and it was his red tie he wore on his wedding day. I wore it here one night with my fiancé and upon walking in I had it cut off and pinned on the wall. Will never be coming back again unless it is to retrieve my heirloom.

Im from France, people told me you have to go there, worst mistake of my whoooole life. This bar is heilheim not Valhalla The staff are absolutely rude and terrifying. They are also absolutely slow when you are from an another country because they don’t like you. Terrible place, never come here !

This is a nice quaint cash-only bar with cheap drinks! Operates at cost and managed by Rice grads – it keeps a lot of tradition in the family. The bartenders are very friendly & outdoor seating has nice ambiance. I just wish the parking situation was better. Definitely come here if you don’t mind a 10-15 minute walk from nearest parking.

Fun, chill, cheap Rice university grad school bar. It's mainly grad students, professors in the bar. The bartenders are so friendly and attentive to your orders. It's a good vibe with cool Rice U photo albums, frame photos of bartenders and professors, cheap beers and alcohol that you cannot find these prices at any other bars in major cities.

At the end of the day this is Grad School bar run by grad school students. Beer is very cheap; I cannot comprehend how some reviews cay beer is expensive - drafts yesterday were$1.50 - $2.40. I do find it interesting that as cheap is this place is people will on and order 4 beers (Lonestar bottles) for a $1.10 each and leave a $0.60 tip. I would never do this, but the bartenders seem unfazed. Is service a little slow? Yeah, but is it really that big a deal? No. If you go on a Friday night, it will be crowded, get two beers at a time. Bring Cash. Music is interesting. I have no idea where you are allowed to park but I have never towed or got a ticket.

Underrated. Enough said. But in all honesty, this is the best kept non-secretive secret in the Rice area. Great, loud & vibrant ambience for those who want to catch up over a beer (or wine) on campus. Servers are awesome. Prices are cheap. What more do you need?

Um just no.... Sticky floors, puke in the bathrooms. Rude af staff. Like not worth the cheap beer, would like my time and money back please and thank you, NEXT.

Don't go here. The prices are cheap, atmosphere is too friendly, they carry too many good beers, and frankly they don't want the whole world showing up. It's also cash only, so just stay away and let this be Rice's own Valhalla

Had the pleasure of visiting this place while doing a hike of the rice campus. Tucked away underground, this place give the ambiance of secrecy. It's located underground. And you walk toward the entry way you are taken back in time through all of the hand crafted painting on the walls of ships sailing the sea. The bar area is clean and the bartenders are very polite. They have a decent selection of beers on tap as well as various beers, wines and spirits in the friend upon request. Low purple light gleams through the entryway to the bar giving you a sense of the dark ages. They don't place music here but it encourages open dialogue among all visitors. The outside of the bar is heavily lit with lighting and seating is plentiful. When you go, order the Lone Star Beer.

Specifically do not go during Robert's Thursday shift. He is very rude and will not serve anyone at all.

definitely a grad student bar. no frills, cash only for cheap beer. draft beer comes in a plastic cup but i can't complain for like $2 shiner

Best BEER BAR in all of Houston: V Vallhalla vigorously vindicates value (cheapest beer prices (at a bar) in the entire city of Houston) A Ambience amazes me every visit with its cozy simplicity L Laughs abound H Ha ha ha A All you need to remember: *Closed Saturdays **Cash only ***Bring your own mugs (to reduce plastic cup usage)*** L Loads of laughs L Lots of interesting educated patrons A Amazing venue nestled amidst the splendor of Rice University

This place isn't worth your time, check out midtown for real bars. The prices are way too much to be served in a plastic cup!?!

Love this place, especially since they added all the outdoor seating. Nothing fancy, what you see is what you get, but perfect for a chill evening out. You can get beer on tap (ex ziegenbock)for as cheap as $0.95 a glass! They have a handful of options on tap as well as quite a few other specialty brews by can or bottle. Employees are all volunteer graduate students which is how they can keep the cost down, so make sure you tip! Also, super dog friendly. My husband and I often stop by for a drink while we are out running the outer loop or walking the dog. Of importance, CASH ONLY.

It's a tiny dive-bar. It's eclectic. It does the job! Super cheap drinks, like $1-$2 beers and wine. The University also has a really nice outdoor patio that is nicely lit, with picnic tables underneath the tall, mature trees. Follow me on my way to Foodietown! http://britneygfoodie.yelp.com

Ugh, dirty bar with pretentious graduate student clientele. Can't even wear a tie into a bar without bartenders viciously attacking you with scissors. -3/5, would not recommend. Definitely recommend Midtown 360 (Aka the old Gaslamp) or Cle instead.

Great place for cheap beers, safe and cool atmosphere. Easy to miss, find the door that looks like and old church or medieval castle. Perfect shade provider by the trees to scape from the TX sun during summer. Snacks, beer, wine and board games available! Don't come wearing a tie. Trust me on that one. Better than rice village haha. Park in front of the bar at your own risk.

I don't understand all the negative reviews about ambiance and music. This place is obviously not a sports bar, and it's definitely no chic beer garden. This is a dirt cheap dive bar for broke college students, and I love it. Come for $1 pours, sit outside at the park tables, and bring your mates. BYOB if you want. Bring cash, and tip the bartenders well. They don't make much, and you'll still be paying way less than you would anywhere else.

Parking is decent, and the prices are good, but that's where the list of pluses ends. The service here is slow, the bartenders are rude AF, and the music selection is awful. One of the bartenders played nothing but Florida Georgia Line, and turnt the volume UP when we asked him to turn it down. Don't waist your time.

Warning!!!! The good news is that the waft of urine overpowers the stench of mildew. That is the nicest thing I can say for this dump of a dive. Two Fridays ago I tried to order a bottle of Merlot and watched in horror as some pube-faced "bartender" shoved the cork a $6 bottle of barely-even-bottom-shelf wine. He proudly presented me with my bobbing-for-cork bottle and asked if I would mind drinking straight from the bottle since the bar had run out of plastic cups. When I pointed out that the wine had been corked he told me not to worry, "The wine is shitty anyway." I was told to take a few sips from the bottle and add "a splash of Lone Star" to make the wine palatable. Turns out that particular mix, a Merlot and Lone Star, is a house favorite. They call it a "Merlone Star". When I asked to speak to a manager, I was told to, "Take the butt plug out of the dead, caged, aardvark," and to then to, "Sit on it and rotate, when you hit the base, the ride is over." Mortified, I insisted on speaking with a manager. Pube Face immediately stopped speaking with me, walked over to the 15-year-old computer, and clicked a few buttons. The next thing I knew "Move Bitch" was blasting, and I left. Never. Going. Back.

Awesome hole-in-wall bar on Rice University's campus. It's a neat space with rich traditions. For example, it's staffed by alumni volunteers and it's the the place where doctoral students celebrate after they defend their dissertations. Upon completion, students go to Valhalla where their ties are cut off and immortalized on a pillar in the bar. Very laid back atmosphere with beer on tap and some canned options as well, including ciders for the folks who are gf.

I was surprised to see all the bad reviews of this place- I thought it was a neat little bar! I was walking around Rice with a friend and we heard about this bar that was tucked away "underneath a building" so we were sold. We walked into the building, climbed down some stairs, and found this cool little space. It's a small bar, with nice music and a cool selection of craft beer. Cash only! And you bring your own cup to try to be environmentally friendly which is awesome. I had an IPA that was incredible. Small crowd on a Wednesday night, everyone here looked friendly and intellectual. Bartender was a grad student who was super nice and friendly. Overall seems like a cool place to hangout and grab a beer after class or after a study session!

Shannon, Giselle and Joel were the worst. Never been this disappointed in all my life. I can't believe I've been here 2x now. Over priced. Rude. Dirty. All the kegs are empty. See you next Tuesday.

I was a bit nervous about coming here after seeing the Yelp reviews and after seeing the sign inside that said "Rule #1: Bartender is always right". I was expecting some "uppity" bartenders, but found them to be friendly and cool for the most part. One bartender was rather aloof, but I think that was just poor social skills and not being an a**hole. The bar itself reminded me of a house party in someone's basement in my past college days. The wine bottles were $1.75 for a 187 ml bottle, or you could get a 750 ml bottle for $6 (not a typo). Their "fancy beers" on draft were around $3.40-$3.70 (AFAIR), but my wife and I got good craft beers for $2 each. Also, they have two beers on tap which cost 95 cents each. All in all, I don't think the staff will ever win bartenders of the year, but then again, they weren't as bad as many Yelp reviewers say (I felt overall they were a good bunch of bartenders). I'm really glad we came in and we had fun here and had good memories.

This place is a piece of crap. I walked in and the bartender made me take off my tie. WTF. The beer is cheeper but not that great. They sound all poshy about their beer, but the then they have lone star on tap! Really?! When I asked to see the manager, some punk student comes out. How does this place make money!?! When I asked for the happy hour special, I got half a beer and a candy bar. Oh and there is no parking and they don't take credit cards. Avoid this place.

My college organic chemistry class was upstairs... this bar is much better. Also, it's for rice students, family and friends. Don't compare it to a regular place. It's on a university campus. Find it weird it even has a Yelp page. Don't come here unless you're just looking for a cheap beer

They have a pig as a tip jar. I'm Muslim and I can't support putting my hard earned money towards pork. Also loses points for not having a gluten free menu. Will not return.

The music is both loud and bad. People who graduated a decade ago stand outside and shout at passing undergrads. The beer is cheap but it's usually not even what's listed on the taps. It's cash-only, and the nearest ATM is in the student center down the street. Your parking options are: close with a parking ticket, far for $12, or farther with a trip to the impound lot. Don't bother. Cheap beer in plastic cups is a bad reason to do anything, especially this.

As a former undergrad of Rice, I am very familiar with Valhalla. It's run by volunteer graduate students, so everything Valhalla sells is at cost. Many beers are 95 cents a cup and the corn dogs and egg rolls are 50 cents each. To people not familiar with the campus though, I doubt you'll be able to easily find this place. There's no sign anywhere indicating there's a bar that exists. In fact, Valhalla is hidden underneath a lecture hall. If you want to visit, look for a short wooden arched door near Keck Hall. Valhalla is located under room 100, which is the closest room to the inner loop road.

Where do I begin. No parking, the signs are all handwritten, disposable cups and no Sam Adam's or karbach, and the staff doesn't even seem to care about keeping the place lively or checking on tables. Way better places all throughout midtown and rice village. The furniture doesn't match and is all old. Steer clear -- you can do better.

LOVE Valhalla! It's a great place to go for a cheap beer. The staff is so warm and the place is eclectic. You don't need to be a student to go. The patio is great and there are some regulars who like to play music outside so it's always fun and entertaining.

Beer is cheap but their candy and chips are way overpriced. Plus I'm scared of basements. Will not return to Valhalla.

There's a butt plug bondage taped to the ceiling. Def not fam friendly. But service is pretty decent, even tho they "don't give a fuck."

Don't wear ties. Filler because I didn't meet review character minimum

Cheap beer? Check. Good friends? Check. Good place to chill.

Terrible ambiance, annoying humans and exorbitantly expensive. Don't go- you aren't smart enough to find it anyhow.

Valhalla is 100% a dive bar and to think anything otherwise is just silly. It's an extremely small bar located in the basement of the chemistry building. It's run by Rice grad students so I wouldn't go in expecting them to be beer knowledgeable or provide fantastic customer service. The ambiance is really cool, especially with the tradition of the cut off ties from students earning their PhDs, decorating the walls. But the best part is definitely the cheap beer. The cheapest beer is 90 cents! That's crazy! They will only sell you 2 beers at a time fyi. Grabbing a couple of beers and sitting at the outside tables under the lights was such a laid-back date night. The best part is as long as you stay on campus, you can walk around Rice and drink your beer. Rice's campus is absolutely beautiful so what;s better than walking around and enjoying your surroundings than with super cheap beer? Pro-tip: Cash-only bar

It was a Tuesday night. One of the Rice grads we started hanging out with claims that he's a bartender and that we should go out for drinks at the bar he works at. The other Rice grad (behind his back) rolls his eyes with a look of semi-disdain and whispers, "Yeah, but at Valhalla..." So we were forewarned. "It's pretty sketchy, dark, and there's always a weird smell." Sure enough, as we walked down the basement stairs, the smell hit us (something like damp mold mixed with... wild animal? venison?). BAM, the first thing we saw was the huge mounted deer head. Oh, maybe that explains the smell. The space at the bar is narrow and pretty small. Seating is pretty random. The bartenders, who are volunteers, were having a blast. Mostly because they were drunk. They changed the music at their whim, and greeted us with grins. L, true to his love of rum and coke, walked up and asked if they served liquor. Nope, just beer and wine. He tried again, this time true to his love of Mexican beer. "Do you have Dos Equis??" "Nope. We have Corona, though." His face fell and he said ok. I don't really drink beer but ordered a blueberry beer, which was delicious (and 8% alcohol). And the total? $4 between the both of us. L's face lit up again. Like the reviewers before me, I was like, DAMN, that is cheap! Their cheapest beers are $0.95. The 6 of us sat down at a big table. We were even, and the table was long and rectangular. So what does that call for? A throwback to the college days- a game of flip cup. We set up, argued and agreed upon the rules, and played several rounds, complete with hooting and hollering and me throwing a plastic cup at someone. And no one reprimanded us. Fantastic dive bar (I really mean DIVE BAR when I say this. Don't expect a "Max's Wine Dive" place) to hang out and drink cheap beer. Those in search of a cheap date or a place where you can pretend to still be 18.. er... 21... and not be judged, you're welcome.

I'm pretty sure the microwave in the corner is a Superfund site. What kind of bar has a microwave anyway? I prefer my beer to get warm the old-fashioned way, and I don't think the cups are microwave-safe to boot. I feel like this place is full of Socialism and is terribly un-American.

Though I must specify that the opinions expressed here are in no way endorsed by Teach for America, I feel the need to point out the lovely relationship that Valhalla and TFA have. This on-campus bar has gotten many a corps member through Houston Institute. While I tried to make the responsible choice and avoid Valhalla until my last week at Institute, I found myself wishing I hadn't waited so long. 95-cent beers are too cheap NOT to enjoy, and I was thoroughly won-over by the giant Jenga set... so much so, in fact, that I am currently working on building one for my house. Cheers!

Valhalla, a divey supposedly grad student pub that's on the Rice University campus, is definitely a somewhat of a hidden spot to all Houstonians alike. Now if you did go to Rice U at one point, you will have heard of this pub but for people who never been there before, it will be a bit hard to get to it. First of all, the map on this Yelp is incorrect, it is actually inner loop near the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering building. One of the thing I've notice is that people actually just park along side of the curb on the inner loop with hazard light on. But don't take my word and do it as there's still a possibility you will get ticketed for doing so. Now you could always park at the visitor parking spot which is a few a bit of a walk from there to the pub. Once you get near there, you would most likely see people drinking beer outside with a small plastic cup. This means you're on the right track and you'll just need to find this old wooden door that will take you under the building. Now, again, this is a very divey joint. The best thing about this place is that the beer is cheap, like really, really cheap. There's always a decent rotation of beer on the tap or you could go a bit premium with bottled beers in the fridge. They also sell various snacks and sandwiches for a very fair price. One thing to remember is that cash is king here. Now they serve everything in small plastic cup but it's definitely a good deal still. One of the downside is that the music can vary based on the volunteer staff's mood. Then there's also the volume of the music as if you sit near the speakers, you could barely talk to your friends that's sitting right in front of your face. I know there's reviews of people saying the service is terrible but my visit there has been nothing but good service. Now that I finally visited this place, I am more experienced on knowing where to park in the future.

This place is awful. I can't stand their selection of sour beers, you'd think some craft-beer disciple stumbled into the place and haphazardly filled out the distributor's ordering form. To make things worse, the bartenders are meaner than a junkyard dog. From the moment you walk in, they sneer at you with disgust. You aren't worthy of their attention, and they make sure you know it. If there were any doubt left in your mind, let me just say that the music selection is one of the worst I've heard in any establishment this side of the Rio Grande. I could get a better playlist by setting my three-year-old cousin loose on Spotify. I mean, who plays the Barney theme song in a fucking bar????

People are complaining about a bar where they sell beer at less than a dollar, and customer service of the grad student who volunteer as a bartenders? Piss off, and go somewhere else.

Let me start by saying this, I love beer, and I love cheap beer even more. But holy heavens above, I'd rather spend $12 on Bud Light five deep at a rave bar in New York City every night of my life than step foot in here again. It's full of college kids. I'm too old for this crap. If you aren't a student, don't bother. If you are a student, don't bother either and go hang out at a real bar. Cheap beer is one thing, but its not like its a cool place to hang out. It's in the basement of some building on the middle of campus. Not exactly party central. Parking is non-existent. No cards, and the beer comes in a plastic cup. Hey Valhalla, if I wanted to stoop to that level I'd go to a fraternity party. Beer selection isn't that great. Lone Star? Wow. No one has THAT around here.

I used to go here with Jerry after work before he left to teach on the reservation again. He went to New Mexico this time, not Lakota country. Since Jerry left, I've been a few times. Met a guy in facilities named Nate who hooked me up with one of those hats they wear. Opened my locker two months later and there it was, as promised. Really nice hat. Great people at this place.

The bartender told me to go sit in the corner. He didn't respect my ideas. Also everyone left because they don't have tacos here. And the music sucks.

It's a dump. Beer is crappy and the room is even worse. Stay away! There are amuch better options in the neighborhood.

Rice university. College kids. Cold beers. that's all I know, I walked in already 3 sheets... so I can't really be trusted as a reliable source how great this bar was, sooooo yeah. Party party party!

Valhalla is run by grad student bartenders and are obnoxious to anyone who isn't a part of their community. I stood there for about 20 minutes before I was even acknowledged. When I finally got a beer, it was given to me with a "f*ck you" attitude. Very unwelcoming and not worth it, even if the beer is cheap. Put on top of expensive/confusing campus parking... no thanks.

I think this place is amazing. Low key, cheap beer, good music for the most part, and absolutely bereft of the normal hoi polloi that you find in many bars. Interesting experience, if you can find it, and please be discreet.

What a hole! A pit! A den of ubiquity regarding questionable beer, insolent staff, smarmy managers and sketchy customers. Seriously, they're everywhere, inside and outside, leaving crude unfunny graffiti in the bathrooms and those derned cheap plastic cups everywhere. But don't worry, if you and the first bartender don't quite see eye to eye, there'll be a different one along in an hour who will likely be even more stuck up regarding what "good" beer is than the one who compared that Lone Star you first ordered to Braes Bayou drainage ditch effluent. As to decor... bomb shelter is a kind description, although the music choices in the cavernous room often remind one of British WWII newsreels. I'd describe the Viking decor as "cheesy", but that would do a disservice to Minnesota and Green Bay fans both. Parking is either really far away or expensive - like downtown expensive. Oh - and they're closed on Saturday. Really? A bar in Houston closed on Saturday? For all of these reasons I recommend Saturday as the best night for Valhalla.

Don't waste your time. There's no where to park, the bartenders are jerks, the beer selection is awful, and it smells terrible in there.

Some friends and I decided to try this place on a recommendation by another friend. She said it was awesome. First of all, it took us forever to find it! I thought I was going to run in to David Bowie and a bunch of goblins dancing around with a baby!! When we finally found it, the stupid place wasn't open! What bar isn't open on Saturdays!! Don't they want to make any money?? We came back again, and it was dead. The bartenders didn't even pay attention to us. We were so pissed, they didn't care that we were business professionals. We're the people who will pay their salary!! We got our beers as were hanging out and the Tom Jones song "what's new pussycat" came on. We didn't think anything of it until we realized it was on repeat!!! WTF!! These jerks were actively trying to get us to leave by playing a shitty song on repeat. Needless to say, we'll never be going there again!