Jason F.
Yelp
Alright Yuzu Omakase, gather 'round the sushi bar, let's talk shop:
First, let's set the scene: I'm dropping $160 (after tax, tip, and fees--yeah, ouch!) on what should've been a culinary rendezvous. Instead, I got the "Hi, here's your fish, bye" treatment. C'mon guys, if I wanted cold, impersonal sushi served via conveyor belt, I'd hit up Kura Sushi--at least the robots there smile at me!
Let's talk small talk. Yusuke-san, staff: lighten up! Making conversation was like pulling unagi bones. Your website is great, sure, but if I wanted your biography I'd whip out my reading glasses. I wanted your story live, not on an "About Me" page!
I even told you this was my maiden voyage at your joint and didn't want to wait for the 20:00 omakase reservation. I curated my own version--bold move, I know--but you didn't meet me halfway. Next time, pace the sushi! Present it in a way that respects the fish and my taste buds. Take a cue from Sugarfish (I promise, nobody in Phoenix will notice you borrowed their moves--trust me, they're busy melting).
Hand roll timing? Epic fail. Seaweed was soggier than a monsoon-drenched Phoenix street. Garnishes? MIA. Black Cod and Red Shrimp deserved better, folks.
And what's with the nickel-and-dime routine? Want your scallops or albacore seared? Pay up! Want a sprinkle of caviar as a garnish? Fork over more cash! It's like flying economy on a budget airline--every little extra has an up-charge. Not cool, Yuzu!
The iPads, though? Keep 'em. Loved tracking my ever-escalating bill in real-time (seriously, genius idea!).
But here's the real kicker: cordless phone juggling while serving sushi? Dude. Hygiene first, phone second. You might as well serve me sushi via Bluetooth.
And hey--when someone (ahem, me) gives polite feedback while paying, maybe toss out a genuine apology or a small gesture to make it right?
In summary:
* Sushi: Good.
* Customer service: Needs CPR.
* My wallet: Hurting.
* Your potential: Still high.
Will I return? Maybe--but I'll order one piece at a time, just to keep you on your toes.
Cheers,
Your resident sushi connoisseur with standards.