The Ned
"How did it strike you on arrival?When it rains, it pours. The Square Mile of the City of London, land of suits and proper pints, was short of exciting hotels, and then, in 2017, along came an urban resort. Dreamed up by Soho House founder Nick Jones, The Ned has nine restaurants, 15 bars, a spa, two pools and a members’ club. The imposing hulk of a building used to be the headquarters of the Midland Bank, and seven of those nine restaurants are arranged, food-court style, around the emerald marble columns and checkerboard floor of the soaring lobby, which is where the bank tellers used to sit. This makes for an impressive, if disconcerting, entrance. What’s the crowd like?City slickers—suits and shorts in equal measure. The good stuff: Tell us about your room.The rooms are characterful for such a huge scale (there are 252 of them) and have brass or walnut bed frames, vintage-look floral wallpaper, wooden floors, and Afghan rugs. The crash pads are just as well done but minuscule and should only be used as the name suggests. Please tell us the bathroom won’t let us down.Bathrooms have mosaic tiles, rainforest showers, and Cowshed products. Large rooms and upwards also get a bath. Maybe the most important topic of all: Wi-Fi. What’s the word?Free. Anything stand out about other services and features? Whether it’s childcare, gyms, spas, even parking—whatever stuck with you.If you don’t fancy eating in the open, Lutyens Grill does perfect steaks (and little else) in what used to be the bank manager's office. When it comes to pampering, there’s a Cowshed Spa, nail bar, barber shop, hair salon, and hammam. Only guests in the larger rooms gain access to the rooftop, with its heated pool, and the Vault bar, arguably the highlight of the whole affair, cocooned among 3,000 gleaming safe deposit boxes. What was most memorable—or heartbreaking—about your stay?Walking through the 20-ton vault door into the members’ club makes you feel like an extra in Oceans Eleven. Bottom line: worth it, and why?Intimate this hotel isn't—you could lose weeks in here—which, depending on your disposition, could be heaven or hell." - Laura Goulden
