"Albert's Shloss is what happens when you say yes to everything an overstimulated party planner suggests. "Cabaret performers and trippy disco toilets?" Sure, sure. "And a booth styled like a ski gondola and a photo booth, and we should probably have a theme too… got it... ALPINE". There’s a lot going on, and it could easily be gimmicky, but friendly staff seem like they’re in on the joke, and the food and performances—everything from punk rock bands to burlesque—are genuinely pretty good. The Bavarian-style beer hall, complete with mounted deer heads, made us forget about the proximity to Leicester Square. Well, that and the shot tray in the shape of a ski being danced towards us. We wouldn’t bring our most serious friend, the one with Kerouac obsession, but Albert’s Schloss is a certified Good Time. And the food is, on the whole, not bad. The schnitzel is crispy and the spätzle is tasty, although the pretzel is dry. But when everyone is dancing on tables and downing salted caramel schnapps, even talking about the food feels like you're missing the point of this portal to silliness. Food Rundown Jalapeno Pepper Pretzel This comes with sweet mustard and pickles, and could have been so good—sadly we got the last of the batch just before fresh pretzels came out. Ours was dry. photo credit: Sinéad Cranna Schloss Schnitzel This schnitzel is really good—and not just for a place that has ski gondola seats. It’s golden brown, with crisp, even breading. It comes with a side of crispy, well-seasoned fries, which feels unbelievably generous in central London. We’re also a fan of the jammy, caramelised half bulb of garlic that’s served on top. photo credit: Sinéad Cranna Funghi Spätzle Well-cooked noodles come in a creamy, not-too-heavy sauce, with nicely sautéed mushrooms and lots of herbs. Ignore the unpleasant, thickly coated bits of battered onion that act as garnish." - Sinéad Cranna