"Looks are the only thing that's important to this Miami River restaurant. Casa Neos uses big white drapes and mid-century modern decor to look like a pricey Tulum resort. But the reality is that you’re dining on the edge of the Miami River next to floating garbage and cargo ships. Dancers juggle fire to try and distract you from this truth, but it doesn’t work. And the food, with the exception of surprisingly good hummus and truffle arancini, is a letdown. The main dishes are either too bland or have too many conflicting spices. If you actually find the Miami River sexy, maybe make a reservation outside. Just know that their finicky patio umbrellas retain water, which might end up all over your mediocre plate of rigatoni if a storm passes by. Food Rundown photo credit: Casa Neos Hummus It has tahini mixed in, comes with crispy pita, and it’s one of the only things you’ll enjoy here. photo credit: Casa Neos Black Truffle Arancini Good, but it won’t make up for the hours of mind-numbing deep house you’ll listen to for the entirety of dinner. photo credit: Casa Neos Rigatoni Pasta We’re not sure why the word “spicy” is used in the description. If anything, it’s oddly sweet and desperately needs salt. photo credit: Casa Neos Wagyu Beef Skirt Steak When you mix a bunch of different colors together, you get a dull brown. That’s exactly what happened to this steak seasoned with too many polarizing spices. video credit: Mariana Trabanino Baklava This cinnamon-heavy baklava topped with pistachio ice cream isn’t worth enduring another 20 minutes of deep house." - Mariana Trabanino
