"It’s July and you’ve just asked your partner if they’re looking forward to Christmas. It’s official, you’ve run out of things to say. Royal Mahal is a Pakistani restaurant in Tooting where it’s OK to be speechless. There’s so much going on that it's practically like going to a show anyway. Starters of dynamite chicken are served in silver goblets, delivered by bow tie-wearing waiters, and come with a side of billowing dry ice. At regular intervals a conga line of sparklers leaves the kitchen as a birthday song is blasted out over speakers. This isn’t where you come for a life-changing lamb biryani, but it’s where you come to stare wide-eyed at the golden chandeliers and wordlessly point at the neon-lit rock display in the bathroom. " - rianne shlebak, jake missing, sinead cranna
