Ben W.
Yelp
Listen, on the basis that a restaurant is only as strong as its weakest dish, Empire Empire is properly manky.
But who made up that saying anyway? And why do we all trot it out as accepted wisdom.
It's tosh. And Empire Empire proves it.
The fish chop rogan josh piqued my interest but it was awful.
A fish steak of some description. Sole it could have been. Not that sole. The one under your foot.
Said steak was as fresh as a teenager's bedroom after a 15 hour stint on Discord.
Fibrous like a Shredded Wheat, I challenge Mitchell Hooper to get his jaw bone engaged enough to finish one.
Fishy it was. As in, suspect. Just because one can freeze, doesn't mean one should. It tasted like it had travelled thousands of miles. No, actually it tasted like it came from the Grand Union Canal which stagnates not a ten minute walk from here. Delicious irony, but without the deliciousness.
The sauce it rehydrated in was great. Which begs the question. Why not just use a local, fresh fish? Cod steak would have worked nicely. Halibut if they were pushing the boat out.
But this abomination (kingfish was it? I can't remember) was rough.
Thankfully we had started with the most deliciously light, fluffy prawns from the tandoor. Heavenly spiced, complimenting the sweetness of the generous sized prawns. Chicken pieces were similarly excellent. And the ox cheek raj kapori was a triumph. A deep fried casing with tender beef in the middle, getting its feet wet in a pool of spicyness.
Tarka dal was robust, wholesome. Is dal the Indian version of a Jewish mother's chicken noodle soup? I'd be ill on purpose if this was the remedy.
Lamb kebabs were tasty, not dried out and, as with everything else, served on dainty victorian plates. None from a set, just a mishmash of prettiness which added to the flavour and the charm that Empire Empire has in spades.
So this 'only as good as your worst meal' malarky. Clearly nonsense.
Just banish fish rogan josh from whence it came, to the moon, and you've got yourself an excellent menu of delicious Indian food served by a dapper waiter in his fitted black suit who is only to eager to impart knowledge to satisfy an old fart's inquisitive nature.
Popadums come with three good dips made on the premises. And some of the popadums come in the shape of those twirly crisps we used to get. Bit of fun. Nice.
Other fun elements include a juke box by the front door which plays real vinyl. The music is all Indian, some old, some contemporary, all enjoyable. At the back of the room is a Photo Booth. I'm not sure why. Again, it could be to add to the fun but on a Sunday evening mid August there just aren't the people to pull it off. It was quiet and it did feel a little downbeat. Maybe when it's packed, diners get up and dance around and then bundle into the booth for photos. But it got no play from the handful of diners in tonight.
We note that on a Sunday afternoon they offer unlimited Biryani for £25. I'd give that a go. I think you'd have to roll me out though.
Empire Empire is a sister of the Gunpowder chain and if you discount the fish aberration, the food is on a par. It's not as shuzzhy as they make out in the PR but there are some nice touches. The playlist that accompanies the meal is available on the website.
It was the Mrs's birthday and the pudding that came gratis is never expected but always appreciated. And I must say, this simple sponge made from semolina drizzled with what I'd describe as an Indian custard, was a delight. Sugary like it needs an insulin syringe on the side so you can plunge it straight into the aorta once the sugar rush riders you comatose. Why is it only the Indians can get away with such balls out seasoning madness?
Go with friends on a Saturday. The vibe will be vibier. We'd give this another go. Fun and foody. Just hold the fish.