Maple & Ash
Restaurant · Park West
699 NE 1st Ave, Miami, FL 33132
"Maple & Ash is a performative restaurant that puts on a terrible show. “I don’t give a f*@k” is the name of their $225 tasting menu, but it feels like the steakhouse’s philosophy. The Chicago transplant landed in Downtown’s Miami Worldcenter armed with multi-themed rooms featuring giant chandeliers, candelabras, and a menu that curses like a rebellious tween. It seems to care very much about looking cool. But instead of edgy, this steakhouse comes off as try-hard and greedy. Maple & Ash desperately tries to impress you with the illusion of luxury—things like free chips and caviar, bubbling seafood towers, panoramic views, and complimentary cocktails. But the chips are stale, crustaceans are drowning in salty chili oil, that welcome cocktail tastes like baby tears, and the “view” faces a giant bowling alley. Their baked and loaded potatoes are pureed into white clumps laced with stringy short rib, and the tough sweetbreads could double as stress balls. Then there’s the upselling. It starts with an $85 cocktail and doesn’t stop until you’ve declined every caviar blini, extra steak sauce, dessert wine, and espresso thrown at you. video credit: Virginia Otazo video credit: Virginia Otazo video credit: Virginia Otazo video credit: Virginia Otazo video credit: Virginia Otazo Pause Unmute Some reservations are exiled to the crowded pink bar. The lucky ones sit in the main room eating leaky agnolotti and chewy steaks on white tablecloths, next to men with wedding ring tan lines and their dates. Quasi-famous people and folks with metal credit cards have the privilege of dining under a palm tree chandelier in front of the kitchen. Servers will attempt to charm you with free stuff. But it tastes awful. And the freebies don’t make up for the aggressive upselling, or the salt-swollen hands and deflated bank account you wake up to the next morning. Dirty words, champagne sabers, and caviar don’t impress a city with a long list of clubstaurants like Miami. To survive, Maple & Ash should give more Fs about the food and treat people less like ATMs. Food Rundown Fire-Roasted Seafood Tower Their cheapest tower is $140 and comes with one shriveled oyster, one scallop, one limp shrimp, a crab claw, half a mealy lobster, and a few clams. It’s all swimming in chili oil so salty you’ll ask them to leave the water pitcher. In an unwelcome twist, they dump even saltier pasta into the oil. PlayMute video credit: Virginia Otazo Fork & Knife Caesar Salad You’ll only need to lift your fork a few times to finish this tiny salad. It tastes like it came from a grocery store kit, and no knife is needed. PlayMute video credit: Virginia Otazo Pillows Of Love When you stab the agnolotti with your fork, it hocks a ricotta loogie from its salty, undercooked pasta body before collapsing on the prongs. photo credit: Hass and Hass Classic Ribeye Surprisingly, not salty. But the $6-$12 accompanying sauces you’re pushed to order are. And the steak is tough even when cooked medium rare. PlayMute video credit: Ryan Pfeffer I Don’t Give A F*ck Tasting Menu This tasting menu is $225 per person and changes at the whim of the kitchen, but usually involves an appetizer, the atrocious seafood tower, steak, fish, a side, and dessert. These dishes are available a la carte. So if you want to be in charge of your own terrible destiny, go that route instead." - Virginia Otazo
"Opened in 2015 in the Gold Coast near Morton’s and Gibsons, this lavishly built steakhouse paired a reverent attitude with a playful, consumer-first approach to fine dining—centering on steaks while rejecting old rules. It requires reservations and has expanded into South Beach, Miami earlier this year. The operation has weathered an acrimonious split with former investors and related litigation, reorganizing under a reformed company and pursuing further expansion, including a potential space in New York." - Ashok Selvam
"Chef Danny Grant’s opulent Chicago steakhouse, Maple & Ash is known for its opulent decor and extravagance from its giant crystal chandeliers to its “I Don’t Give a F*@k” tasting menu for $225 to its 61 page wine and cocktail menu (that includes a $7,000 Port, and $85 Old Fashioned, and a “splash” of Louis XIII cognac — there’s nothing subtle about this restaurant. Fortunately, Maple & Ash has the goods to back all this pomp and circumstance up: Its Chicago flagship earned a Michelin star for its wood-fired steaks and fresh seafood. If you want to ball on a budget, check out the Tower Hour from 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m., where you can nab a seafood tower for $45, $3 oysters, and a $15 martini." - Laine Doss
"A luxurious steakhouse offering wood-fired, dry-aged porterhouses, wagyu beef carpaccio, veal sweetbreads, and fire-roasted seafood towers. Known for its 'I Don’t Give a F*@k' tasting menu, the restaurant provides an opulent ambiance with luxury fabrics, candlelit tables, and a stunning 'Upside Palm' chandelier." - Erin Perkins
"This steakhouse from Chicago with a tasting menu eloquently titled “I Don’t Give a F*@k” has landed in Downtown. Fitting for a neighborhood with a crypto bull statue. Since the tasting is priced at $225, we do give a “f*@k.” And we’ll report back soon on whether or not these wood-fire steaks and huge sundaes are worth it. We haven’t been here yet, but want you to know this spot exists." - Mariana Trabanino
