Ben K.
Yelp
We dined in your restaurant this past Thursday and would like to convey our deep dissatisfaction with our experience.
When being seated, half of the room was squinting their eyes because of the poorly-shaded dining room. When we requested that the shades be lowered, the waitress conceded that they only go half-way down the windows (?). We spent half our meal dealing with the obnoxious glare.
The service was fair, but nothing special. Our server, when asked what her favorites on the menu were, decided to explain every single item, pausing on certain ones to ask herself, "Have I tried this one? No, definitely haven't. Anyway..." I question your level of commitment to your staff when the menu is as condensed and extortionate as it is, and the staff has not even tasted over a third of the items. As a piece of advice, I'd recommend that your servers keep their negative opinions ("I'm not crazy about this entree") to themselves, as it truly detracts from the elegant feel of your restaurant, and sets the tone for a bad dinner.
Our bread didn't arrive until after long after our appetizers, which were absurdly small. Your "clambake," purportedly containing "potatoes," came with one (seriously, one) pathetic dime-sized chunk of potato. This is not tapas, this is not a "tasting menu," or a sampler. It is a prix-fixe DINNER. Though the lobster was cooked well, the portion size was laughable- and came on a huge plate (You guys really think this is wise? The type of people who visit your restaurant see right through your tricks, trust me).
The gazpacho was clumsily pureed, and the five of us were absolutely certain that it contained V8 juice, due to the unappetizing saltiness and artificial celery flavor. This is ridiculous when you're charging a whopping (non-negotiable!) $80 per person. Our server did not check back after this course hit, and when we got her attention to comment on the soup, she unsympathetically took it back to the kitchen and offered no other appetizer or compensation during the remainder or our meal. Deeply irritating.
Our entrees were equally disappointing. Three of us had filets, two medium-rare and one medium. The medium came out hot but the medium-rares were actually lukewarm/cold. Again, our server did not check back with us, and everyone had finished their dinners before we got our warmed entrees back. The filets, which were supposed to come with "haricots verts," came with (count 'em!) FIVE. beans. each. What? You're even cutting corners when it comes to vegetable portions? I have to shake my head. You should alert the tables to your portion sizes when taking reservations, as we all left hungry.
Dessert was the worst course. The brownie was so so disgusting. It was too sweet, cold (?!?!?), small, and came with already-melted coconut ice-cream, also too sweet. Why do you serve the hazelnuts in honey on the side? What does this add to the dish besides more sweetness? Oh, it takes up the third section on the HUGE plate for the SMALL dishes.
These problems are the tip of the iceberg. You need to get a better wine list. Your selections were uninspired, unvaried, and scant, especially for a restaurant of your price-range. Your cocktail selection is negligible and frankly bizarre (mimosas at dinner, really?).
However, what disappointed us to the core was your lack of hospitality and general tactfulness. When your guests clearly have multiple bad experiences (steak too cold, soup sent back, etc.), it is a common courtesy to have a manager or maître d' approach the table, even if it is just to offer a simple apology. Instead, we were subject to our insincere and unprofessional waitress's apathy.
As you must know, word of mouth is crucial on this island, and as someone who has visited the Vineyard several times a year over the past two decades, I can assure you that my family, friends and colleagues will not be visiting your restaurant until you demonstrate that you have addressed these fundamental problems.
If you are wise, you will offer some type of reimbursement for this unforgivably terrible experience.