"Dining at The Snail is like going on a first date with someone who’s already stalked you on the internet, and is now telling you what your interests are. Candles flicker and ’90s hip-hop plays over a reel-to-reel, and you’ll find the kind of TGI Friday’s-esque menu that’s inescapably trendy in NYC. In addition to a house martini (now required by municipal law), this Greenpoint spot serves food to appease a picky child: cheeseburgers, pasta, and shrimp cocktail. As with anyone whose personality feels manufactured for likability, we find The Snail’s appeal a little shallow. But hey, the burger is very good. Piggybacking on trends might be a safe play, but it’s paying off. The Snail is a hot restaurant. It's walk-in only, with people waiting upwards of two hours at peak times. And even that wait feels calculated to appeal. There’s nothing today’s diners love more than the exclusivity of a line, if only because it gives us something to complain about over brunch, after waiting in a different line. photo credit: Kate Previte photo credit: Kate Previte photo credit: Kate Previte photo credit: Kate Previte photo credit: Kate Previte Pause Unmute What you'll see on most tables is the burger, and with good reason. The chef previously worked for the same restaurant group as 4 Charles Prime Rib, and even side by side, it’d be hard to differentiate between the swanky West Village restaurant’s version, which is NYC burger royalty, and the juicy, cheesy specimen served here (minus the egg). But there are a lot of good burgers in this city. Is this one worth all the fuss? Not necessarily. We’d sooner brave the equally daunting waits at Bernie's, just across the street. Not only would we take the chicken parm there over anything on this menu, but the nostalgia-themed immersive theater of Bernie's red-checkered tablecloths and frosted beer mugs is a much more memorable experience. But if a more-glamorous-than-usual Greenpoint dinner out is what you're looking for—where the exclusivity of the line only enhances the experience—you'll have a good time at The Snail. Otherwise, go right when it opens on a weekday, wait till the hype cools down, or cross your fingers they start taking reservations. Food Rundown Chips & Ham This ideal drinking snack (much like the one served at Ernesto’s) pairs nicely with an octopus gilda-topped martini, so you can really commit to pretending you’re in Spain. photo credit: Kate Previte Escargot The restaurant is called The Snail, after all—how could they resist? But you don’t need to order this. The garlicky parsley butter is nice, but the snails themselves are rubbery. photo credit: Angie Chavez Shrimp Cocktail The most important thing to know about these lemony, plump shrimp is that they’re served over ice, with a lit candle flickering in the middle of the platter. Romantic. photo credit: Kate Previte Caesar Salad The Snail makes a good one—with radicchio leaves for color and bitterness, fried capers for crunch, and an aggressive, though not unwelcome, showering of pecorino. “Fancy” anchovies are an extra $5, if you’d like some additional funk. photo credit: Kate Previte Double Cheeseburger The reason you’re here. Two nicely seared but still juicy patties smothered in creamy cheese, with thinly mandolined pickles on a toasted brioche bun. Fries aren’t included, but they’re well seasoned, crisp yet fluffy, and worth ordering. photo credit: Kate Previte Steak Frites Au Poivre The steak is cooked to a gorgeous ruby mid-rare, but the au poivre sauce is inconsistent—sometimes it’s as sweet as mulled wine. Sometimes it finishes too bitter. Desserts The Sticky Toffee Date Cake with a luscious caramel sauce (sweet, but not cloying) and the Spanish Sundae with hot fudge, marcona almonds, and heavy glug of olive oil are both excellent choices. Just skip the Chocosu, a dry chocolate cake-tiramisu hybrid." - Molly Fitzpatrick