If you loved Shuckers, Palm Tree Club will probably make you sad - Review - Miami - The Infatuation

"There are two sides to Miami. One hunts for a cold, affordable beer, preferably with a view and no dress code. The other wants to look as hot as humanly possible, make eye contact with a DJ, and spend irresponsible amounts of money on irrational things. This restaurant on the edge of Biscayne Bay has catered to both of those Miamis at different times. Previously, it was Shuckers. Folks went there for a blessedly casual waterfront meal with decent food and an incredible view. Now it’s Palm Tree Club, where you spend $105 on a chicken tender tower while watching a DJ who just hopped off a yacht. photo credit: Palm Tree Club You might love it here. You also may want to hop onto a passing jet ski and disappear into the Bermuda Triangle. It really depends on which side of Miami you feel more aligned with. Palm Tree Club is a restaurant, although a very bad one. Service moves at a hangover pace and seemingly every plastic cup on the table has lipstick on it. The menu is an odd blend of toddler favorites, sports bar food, and clubstaurant hits. You can enjoy a first course of grilled cheese and caviar cones before moving on to baked ziti and branzino. None of it is good. Palm Tree Club’s biggest strength is the view it inherited, which is the only reason why we'd tell you to come here on a Wednesday to watch the sunset with a beer and guacamole. photo credit: Palm Tree Club The entire property (it’s also a hotel) is owned by a famous Scandinavian DJ. This place makes the most sense when no one is paying attention to the food, drinks, or the fact that Palm Tree Club even functions as a restaurant at all. They clear out the tables and throw parties on Saturdays, hosting DJs—occasionally very famous ones—who play sets in front of a truly stunning waterfront backdrop. That’s when one side of Miami comes here to dance, breathe in saltwater air, and remind themselves why they fell in love with this city. The other side of Miami just drives by now, wincing at the new paint job, and remembering when this place used to make them feel like that too. Food Rundown Guacamole This is the best thing here thanks to the tortilla chips that are puffy yet crisp. Sitting at the bar with this and a beer is pretty much the only way to have an enjoyable meal. PlayMute video credit: Julia Malavé Crispy Salmon Rice Crispy rice’s first and foremost duty is to be crispy, a task this mushy mess fails immediately. PlayMute video credit: Julia Malavé Chicken Tender Tower It costs $105 and comes with exactly 13 chicken tenders, a dump truck’s worth of french fries, and two dipping sauces. The chicken tenders are on par with your neighborhood Chili’s. If we were dancing to the dulcet tones of Tiesto and someone bought this for the table, we might love it. But this has to be one of the most spectacular wastes of money in the whole city. photo credit: Ryan Pfeffer Baked Ziti It tastes like it teleported here from the frozen food aisle of your local Publix. At least it has a lot of cheese. PlayMute video credit: Julia Malavé" - Ryan Pfeffer