"There’s nowhere quite like Tonga Room in SF, what with its indoor rain and manufactured thunderstorms, a pool converted into a floating stage, and live music reminiscent of a wedding cover band. Even after repeat visits, the novelty of the Nob Hill tiki bar and restaurant doesn’t ever seem to wear off, and its intense commitment to all things vaguely Polynesian and theatric makes Tonga Room fun. video credit: Patrick Wong Beyond the manmade meteorological events every 15 minutes, staff wear floral print button-ups and kukui nut leis, and even the house band proudly proclaim they’re from “the big island” (before adding “of San Francisco” at the end). With a few stiff mai tais and Painkillers in your system, you’ll have no trouble peeling your eyes away from your phone to watch the water fall from the ceiling or make your way over to the small dance floor to sway and sing along to Dancing In The Moonlight. photo credit: Krescent Carasso But, in between those moments, you’ll deal with inconsistent food and slow service. The Island Crunch Salad is bland, edamame is over-spiced, and macaroni salad has too much mayonnaise. The best of the bunch is the kalua pork, though we recommend getting it in the sliders instead of with a mound of rice that tastes like it’s been sitting out a while. It’s also not uncommon to not see your server for up to 30 minutes at a time, though the music and rain does make it less painful. That said, avoid having a full meal here and opt for drinks at the bar, which gives you easy access to cocktails and the dance floor. Just note that $15 per person is added to your bill once the music performance starts, no matter if you’re eating or not. That’s a worthy price to pay for the chance to dance through an indoor rainstorm to a cover of September. How to get into Tonga Room & Hurricane Bar There’s always a chance conference-goers and tourists will snatch up the tables at Tonga Room inside of the Fairmont. So it’s a good idea to check for a reservation at least a week in advance, especially for a spot on Fridays and Saturdays. If you want the best view of the stage, get there early to stake out a seat at the bar or bite the bullet and make a full dinner reservation—if you tell the host at check-in that you’re just here for snacks, you’ll be seated with just a partial view. Live music starts at 7pm with roughly 30-minute sets throughout the night. RESERVE A TABLE WITH RESERVE A TABLE Food Rundown Cocktails Our preferred way to enjoy a Tonga Room visit is with plenty of tiki drinks. They’re strong, sweet, and likely to make the next morning much less enjoyable. Royal Pupu Platter Your basic plate of fried goodness. If you’re with a group, definitely get this for the table. The ribs and wings are better than you’d expect, and the mushroom spring rolls hold their own too. photo credit: Patrick Wong Island Crunch Salad We appreciate the generous portion, but it’s underdressed and needs more of that so-called titular crunch from the garlic chips. photo credit: Patrick Wong Kalua Pork Sliders The kalua pork is the best thing on the menu—it’s so tender it probably gets regular massages. The guava barbecue sauce has some tang, but it’s not overly sweet. Get the pork here sandwiched in between pillowy Hawaiian rolls instead of the on plate that comes with rice that doesn’t taste fresh. photo credit: Patrick Wong Mac Salad If you like your macaroni salad heavy on the mayonnaise, you’ll enjoy this. But, depending on the day it can be served too warm, so take your chances." - Patrick Wong