Drake’s Hollywood - Review - Montrose - Houston - The Infatuation

"Drake’s Hollywood in Montrose is only worth going to for two reasons. One, if you enjoy being told what to wear—the ridiculous dress code is both strict and proudly displayed at the host stand. Or two, if eating what amounts to just-OK, tacky food surrounded by way too many caricatures of celebrities sounds appealing. Drake's is serving overblown bar food for people who probably had their date agree to an NDA. While the inside is nice enough with its steakhouse-coded red leather, wood, and black-and-white photos, it feels more like a backdrop for people who wish they worked in Hollywood than a functioning restaurant. Maybe that’s due to the both confusing and bland food. Considering the most popular dish here is a plate of soggy fries smothered in ranch dressing and cheese sauce that tastes like somebody stored it in a Play-Doh container, we can’t understand why the dress code requires one to wear slacks, “stylish jeans,” or elegant sandals. Most dishes, like a crab rangoon (also served with mystery cheese sauce) and lobster escargot—an excuse to serve spinach dip on a fun plate—are more suited for tank tops and flip-flops attire. And, yeah, the pasta za za has a nice red pepper kick, and Drake’s can cook an alright steak. However, the prices and the up-down judgment from the staff when you walk in make the whole experience feel overpriced and sleazy. If you aren’t here to flaunt a new Maybach or take selfies with the weekend DJ, we suggest trying any of the other incredible restaurants in Montrose. Food Rundown Crab Rangoon Filled with 95% cream cheese and a distant memory of crab, these rangoons don’t come close to any Chinese in the tri-county area. The sweet chili sauce also tastes too sweet. And the cheese sauce might have been created by someone who’s only heard an oral history of what cheese should taste like. Lobster Escargot While this dish has a perceptible level of lobster, we don’t know why it had to be served in an escargot plate. It tastes like someone heated up spinach-artichoke dip and thought it would taste OK with a tiny scrap of lobster. There’s a tiny disk of puff pastry, too, for some reason. Vin Scully Fries Once again, we are confronted with plastic by-product cheese sauce drizzled over what should be a nice place of fried potatoes. Instead, it gets exponentially soggier every minute due to a slather of ranch dressing. While this might be delicious at a ballpark for $21, here it feels like a crime. Classic Pizza Drake’s pizza is wafer-thin and resembles what happens when you put a Lunchable pizza in the microwave. It tastes about the same, too. Pasta Za Za This is a simple pasta of cropped rigatoni, a thin tomato sauce, and some red pepper spice. If we were dragged to Drake’s again, we would only order this. Dry-Aged New York Strip Thankfully, Drake’s can cook a decent steak. It’s served on a double stack of searing hot plates, so the side of bearnaise will quickly curdle unless you move it. It's also, it’s $68, and that's money best spent at any other steakhouse in town. 24-Layer Cake This massive strawberry-flavored behemoth receives a tableside crowning of Grand Marnier-cooked strawberries. It’s the color of Pepto Bismol and tastes like it’s been sitting in the fridge for three days." - Chelsea Thomas