"Although it only opened in Mayfair a few years ago, Sexy Fish feels like a party restaurant from a bygone era. It’s all hair gel, discarded tit tape, and men who use the word ‘banter’ in a police statement. For one hour or maybe even one night, it can be okay. Fun, maybe? But once your cocktails wear off, it will hit you. The DJ playing Swedish House Mafia. The £30 gyoza. The dancing mermaid by Damien Hirst. The dirtiness. The dejection. Instead of Sexy Fish, go to:Bob Bob Ricard (a gold-detailed glitz-cave complete with press for champagne buttons); or, Brigadiers (a whisky vending machine, cocktail on tap, Indian barbecue playground in the City)." - heidi lauth beasley, jake missing