"Welcome to Maison Barnes, home of the Chobster." That’s how Daniel Boulud describes the signature dish at this Upper East Side restaurant, where a chicken-lobster hybrid for two will run you $250. Over the course of an arduously long dinner in the pleasantly posh dining room (located next to Cafe Boulud), only one or two Poularde Homardines are likely to sail past. Perhaps it’s not quite the home of the Chobster yet—and that’s for the best. The dish is an over-the-top stunt that disrupts the equilibrium of an otherwise snoozy dinner, where the music is about three clicks too low, allowing you to overhear women in pearls discussing their purchase of a vineyard in France. (Appropriate, given the restaurant has ties to French real estate company Barnes.) The short menu has some good, delicately plated food, but it all pales in the shadow of that Chobster. If you happen to have an Upper East Side-dwelling aunt who wants to spend all her wealth, Maison Barnes will do fine for a casually fancy dinner. But if you’d like to experience what this chef does best, just go to Daniel instead. photo credit: Bill Milne photo credit: Maison Barnes photo credit: Bill Milne photo credit: Bill Milne Food Rundown Poularde Homardine, Sauce Nantua The Chobster’s true name. Now you know, so don’t order it by accident. But if you’ve been influenced by Martha Stewart’s viral Chobster post and must know more, here’s what to expect. A whole chicken arrives at your table wearing lobster armor. The golden appendages are whisked away, leaving the naked chicken, which is then carved tableside. A lobster head is extracted from its cavity, pressed for a few drops of juice, and a bisque whisked in front of you. The chicken is tender; the lobster perfectly poached, and, when it’s eventually served, you’ll get about three slices of each on your plate. If you end up here, order something less exciting. photo credit: Maison Barnes Asperges Blanches Sauce Mousseline Thick spears of white asparagus, with crunchy hazelnuts and broken pieces of puff pastry, swimming in a light, hollandaise-adjacent sauce. Tastes very French. As it should. But it won’t change your life. Salade Printaniére An absolutely inoffensive salad. Something that might become a part of your regular repertoire if you were an Upper East Side socialite. Gateau au Chocolat Amer Sabayon Espresso This wedge of rich chocolate cake is delicious, and about the size of two slices. Enjoy it with an after-dinner coffee. Or maybe skip dinner and proceed here directly." - Willa Moore
