"So you want to “lunch at the Chateau”? How Hollywood of you. Well, there are things you need to know before you try to stroll into this famous castle off the Sunset Strip. This is a five-star hotel, so you can’t wander the property hoping to “bump into” Miley Cyrus. A doorman will stop you at the driveway and ask if you have a reservation. You need one, even for a few vespers in the courtyard. Brunch and lunch reservations are available online, but dinner reservations require an email (and availability is sporadic). One time we walked in at 9pm on a Tuesday and the restaurant host let us have cocktails by the jazz piano without a reservation. We weren’t so lucky the next time. Now that we’ve covered the ground rules (and hopefully spared you any rejection), know that Chateau Marmont is as cool as expected. Hollywood lore and celebrity gossip practically drip from its green striped awnings, and basking in that aura is the most thrilling part of a meal here. That, and the near-certainty that someone famous will be in your vicinity, like Al Pacino picking at branzino in the lush courtyard, David Schwimmer grabbing drinks in the lobby, or the ghost of John Bonham riding his Harley Davidson down the hallways (true story). The unpredictability of who you’ll encounter is invigorating as the bar’s crisp $35 vespers, and both of them make Chateau’s underseasoned food remotely palatable. You’re here to pretend you’re wrapping up an Oscars press tour with cocktails and feel famous via proximity to Sofia Coppola, even if such emotions last for the two hours allotted for your table. Food Rundown Cocktails The cocktails at Chateau Marmont cost more than most dishes on the food menu. They’re also potent, so you don’t worry about tasting $35 worth of vodka in your martini. The vesper is our go-to because it's light on Lillet and heavy on lemon peel. photo credit: Sylvio Martins Chilled Octopus A refreshing lemony appetizer in need of salt, but good otherwise. The poached octopus is chewy but not rubbery, and the celery and hearts of palm add a nice crunch. photo credit: Sylvio Martins Greek Salad We taste plenty of dry oregano, but again, not enough salt (maybe it’s for guests with blood pressure concerns?). The out-of-season tomatoes are surprisingly juicy. If you need a vegetable, this will do. photo credit: Sylvio Martins Burrata di Bufala Serve us a ball of quality burrata and we’re generally happy. The garlicky pesto tastes great with the creamy cheese, but the jammy eggplant caponata with raisins is a tad sweet. photo credit: Sylvio Martins Spaghetti Bolognese We were told this is the Chateau’s best dish, and we agree. The spaghetti is overcooked, but the bolognese has so much parmesan on top it fuses into the pasta like a cheesy sauce as you mix it. It’s also respectably salty, which is a treat given how underseasoned most dishes here are. photo credit: Sylvio Martins Steak Frites Warm and crispy fries overshadow a dry and underseasoned filet. The side of “au poivre” (in quotations because it’s nothing like au poivre) is watery and bland. Save $40 and skip. photo credit: Sylvio Martins Tiramisu Grab a mop and bucket: this giant tiramisu is wet. The cookies weren’t given enough time to soak up the espresso, and the cream is on the runny side. It’s a generous portion, though. photo credit: Sylvio Martins" - Sylvio Martins