"Anticipation is a hell of a drug. Whether it’s the rush of adrenaline before diving off of a cliff, the queasiness of a first date, or receiving a “your package has shipped” notification, there’s something about the build up to a great experience. And the Italian restaurant Rosie Cannonball in Montrose knows exactly how to wind you up. There’s fanfare with a splash of free lambrusco when you first arrive, luxurious and spacious seating, and gorgeous amber mood lighting. You’re almost holding your breath, expecting a truly stunning time through and through. But Rosie Cannonball just doesn’t stick the landing. The restaurant feels stuck in time at golden hour. Its interior is dripping in custom millwork, inlaid rattan, and slabs of chiseled rock. The warm, inset lighting around the ceiling makes everything look ravishing and beautiful, including you, your date, and even the many houseplants throughout the dining room. It’s like the movie set of a restaurant that’s been there for decades, waiting for someone to switch the lights back on. Also, there are fabulous and frankly kind of sexy bathrooms you should very much check out. The meal starts with a complimentary splash of Lambrusco and a phenomenal blistered bean dish from the wood-fired grill. It’s smoky and bright with herbs and chili. This dinner is going to be incredible, you think. You feel as though you're about to slurp spaghetti while having your portrait taken, like a model laughing and raising a forkful of salad. The cacio e pepe pizza is indeed remarkable, with a crispy and charred crust. But the focaccia comes out sitting in a pool of oil, and the lamb alla genovese only has a schmear of the promised gremolata. The grilled pork chop is an overcooked brick. Then a terrified server awkwardly struggles with a plastic wand lighter for more than a little while, trying to flambé a tableside penne alla vodka. It’s all for show, not flavor. We’re not even sure why the simple, cheesy pasta was on fire at all. And as you sit there, hoping there’s some surprise or maybe even just another free lambrusco , nothing happens. You never dive off the cliff, the first date peters out into awkward silence, and your package? It got lost in the mail. All in all, Rosie Cannonball is a place where you go with your friends to feel bougie and drink wine and not pay much attention to the food, which is only occasionally great. It’s a beautifully designed restaurant, and all of the hallmarks of service and the right wine list are there, poised and ready. But the payoff never fully arrives. " - Chelsea Thomas
