"Anyone who says that their favorite thing about Mr. Chow is the food needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror. We don’t believe you. But we also don’t judge you for choosing to spend a heart-palpitatingly large sum of money at this iconic restaurant if your goal is to feel like you’re at the center of the Beverly Hills universe. Mr. Chow—now a global chain owned by an eponymous celebrity CEO—has kept its lychee martini-fueled party flowing every night since the ‘70s, a quality that for many eclipses whatever lackluster Chinese food is on the table. You come here to spend, to see and be seen, and to brag the next day at Soho House about who you saw at the one and only Mr. Chow. photo credit: Mr Chow photo credit: Mr Chow photo credit: Mr Chow photo credit: Sylvio Martins photo credit: Mr Chow Prices here are so outrageous, Mr. Chow even smells expensive. There’s a Kardashian-sized floral budget at the front of the house, perfuming the checkered dining room with white lilies. Diners in designer suits slip waiters cash tips as they walk out, and at least a few business deals are going down over fluorescent red chicken satay at any given hour. Celebrity sightings are common, if not expected. And once you’re done craning your neck around the packed room, your server will be quick to push one of the prix-fixe menu options on you. We say go for it. Á la carte portions are small, and the cheapest dish is a single $16 crab claw, so unless the plan is to stick to cocktails and scallion pancakes, you’re going to run up a big tab either way. There’s a two-course menu for $118 per person, and a $124 three-course menu, which adds on an unpleasantly oily beijing duck. But whether you choose the overly sweet and gloopy walnut prawns, or the impressive-looking emperor’s crab stuffed with salt-deprived egg whites, nothing on Mr. Chow’s menu will hold your attention as much as the room itself. The one exception is the nightly hand-pulled noodle performance that draws raucous applause, but even the fresh noodles don’t taste like much. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of better Chinese restaurants around Los Angeles, as well as other Beverly Hills haunts that are just as glamorous, but with much better food. There is, however, only one Mr. Chow. Food Rundown photo credit: Sylvio Martins Lychee Martini Everyone here is drinking one of these, so when in Rome. Compared to some headache-inducing lychee martinis we’ve had in the past, these aren’t too sweet and the vodka lets you know it’s there. photo credit: Sylvio Martins Scallion Pancakes Scallion donuts might be a more accurate term for these. Curious shapes aside, though, these are very heavy on the scallions, which is a plus. photo credit: Mr Chow Glazed Prawns With Walnuts Imagine the sweetest honey walnut prawns you’ve had at a Chinese food fast spot, then double the sweetness. Maybe that sounds appealing to you, but it doesn’t to us (or our dentist). video credit: Sylvio Martins Vermicelli With Lobster Mmm, salty noodles. That’s about as complex as these hair-thin noodles get. At first, you taste mostly soy sauce, followed by a subtle waft of shellfish, similar to eating a whole prawn, shell and all. photo credit: Sylvio Martns Emperor’s Crab Your server will caution you with, “You know this dish is mostly egg whites, right?” They are correct. It’s a tall pile of soft, gently cooked egg whites that looks cool inside a crustacean. However, the egg whites are fairly underseasoned, which is painful once you remember you spent $70 on this dish. photo credit: Sylvio Martins Beijing Duck Who massacred Daffy? And why is there a thick, oily crust that coats our mouth like a canola-flavored lozenge? There’s incredible peking duck out there in LA, so we suggest indulging elsewhere. photo credit: Mr Chow Ma Mignon Now this we’re into. The thickly sliced filet is slightly overcooked but still tender, and the sweet-savory glaze tastes like equal parts soy sauce and tangy steak sauce. photo credit: Sylvio Martins Berry Tart We’re suckers for a dessert cart. It reminds us that we’re out on the town, and this moist berry tart is a solid send-off to whatever is next on the evening’s itinerary." - Sylvio Martins
