We wish Niño Gordo’s food was as fun as the dining room - Review - Miami - The Infatuation

"Niño Gordo is an Asian restaurant from Argentina known for its chaotic decor and katsu sandwiches. This is their first outpost in the US, and it’s exactly where a restaurant this excessive should be: in Wynwood. The only windows in this dark space are aquariums filled with artificial jellyfish. The wallpaper in the dining room is covered with fat babies, and there’s a secret bar hidden behind a fake cigarette dispenser that’s coated in carpet upholstery. If you love a maxamlist, overstimulating interior, then you should try to stop in for a drink. You’ll feel like the protagonist in a sci-fi movie who meets up with a seedy low-level gangster to drink fluorescent cocktails and make a deal that goes sideways. video credit: Julia Malavé video credit: Virginia Otazo video credit: Virginia Otazo Pause Unmute That doesn’t happen here, but something does go terribly wrong: the food. The dumplings are undercooked, the milkbread for their katsu sandwich is dry, and the shrimp in the watery fried rice is chewier than an old piece of gum. Service is good, the space is unique, and dishes are about $10 less than you’d expect to pay in Wynwood—but they’re bad. Food Rundown Dumplings The veal in these dumplings tastes like dry picadillo (even though the chewy dumplings themselves are undercooked). The squid is also imperceptible and the sauce on the bottom might as well be grits. PlayMute video credit: Julia Malavé Katsu-Sando It’s hard to tell what’s drier: the meat, bread, or our mouth after eating this. PlayMute video credit: Julia Malavé Fried Rice The odd and tragic thing about this seafood fried rice is that it’s so watery that it forms a small ocean at the bottom of the bowl. PlayMute video credit: Julia Malavé Ribeye Niño Gordo’s ribeye is a ssam situation, so you’ll be making lettuce wraps with the steak, wakame, and rice. It’s the most acceptable dish here, but they undercook the steak. So if you like medium rare, order it medium. PlayMute video credit: Julia Malavé" - Virginia Otazo