"Closing time: 2am Monday to Thursday, 3am Friday to Saturday Generally, if a bar sounds like a euphemism for any part of the human anatomy then it will probably lead to bone-deep regret, but we have a high threshold for public humiliation, so we take Albert’s Schloss’ name —and air of alpine debauchery—as a bonus. This Bavarian beer hall near Leicester Square is a portal to schnapps-slinging silliness. See: cabaret performers, trippy disco toilets, shot trays in the shape of skis. Leave your inner gimmick critic at home and you’ll have a great time." - jake missing, heidi lauth beasley