"This Heights Latin-French-fusion spot feels like an escape room masquerading as a restaurant. The dining room is almost always empty, and service is so slow you might need to organize a search party to find someone to help you. When they do finally show up, they aggressively push whatever expensive dishes are on special, like a soggy watermelon salad for $23. Then, the server disappears again, abandoning you during the most crucial moments, like when you need to order or grab the check. With its overpriced food and anxiety-inducing service, Maison Pucha proves that being expensive doesn’t always equal good. In addition to the prank-show atmosphere, Maison’s food is also bad. Every dish either obliterates tastebuds with too much vinegar, like the beef tartare that reeks of Tabasco, or is physically difficult to eat, like a mushy ceviche trapped at the bottom of a miniature fish bowl-like dish you have to contort your hands to access. Despite most entrees costing around $40, the decor might have been fished out of a Home Goods clearance bin, including the seven different Eiffel Tower statues and paintings around the dining room. Unfortunately, the only way to end your meal here is to skip dessert and fork over around $150 to a staff member who will hold your credit card hostage for at least another 20 minutes or, hopefully, you have some secret password that releases you. photo credit: Liz Silva photo credit: Liz Silva photo credit: Liz Silva Food Rundown Steak Tartare This hockey puck of tartare has a strange orange hue and tastes like nothing except for Tabasco. And the toast on the side has the texture of stale, grocery store white bread. Fish Ceviche Everything about this dish is upsetting. It arrives in a strange miniature glass globe with a thin layer of branzino ceviche at the bottom, a heap of shaved red onions on top, and a few measly waffle chips. Not only is the ceviche hard to access physically, but it also tastes like canned tomatoes. Plus the waffle chips are so thin and stale that any ceviche you place on top immediately snaps the chips in half. It’s not worth the effort. Maison Steak Frites Most of this dish is just OK. The steak is cooked well but lacks seasoning, while the fries are well-seasoned but too soft. However the side of bearnaise sauce has a goopy film on top and tastes sweet for no discernible reason. Coq Au Vin This is undoubtedly one of the best dishes at Maison Pucha. The chicken is well cooked and moist, with a decent, savory sauce over creamy potato puree. But that's not saying much given that most other dishes are terrible. If forced to dine at this restaurant, order this." - Chelsea Thomas
