"“Cheesecake Factory,” she says. “I’ve tried 67 different menu items. It’s taken me six years, but I’ve got a list going. But I’m not keeping track of the drinks, and I don’t like cheesecake.” Valerie confirms before I can even ask, explaining that the waitress at the Washington Square mall Cheesecake Factory gifted her a menu to put little x’s beside the dishes she’s tried already — her current rankings place the Thai chicken in top position and the meatloaf at the bottom “because my meatloaf was way better than their meatloaf.” At this rate, she’ll be done sometime in the next 25 years, provided the mall and the world that surrounds it make it that long." - Jamie Loftus
